By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. I just got off the phone with my LEGENDARY friend, Johnny Depp, and he was put on blast by EBT warrior, cellar dweller, soy boy trolls. They put together this little death hoax about my boy and I’m here to right a wrong, YA HEARD! He’s alive and well and is not happy about this damn hoax.
Depp said the following about this matter:
“James, firstly, congrats on your success. Your writing is a truly godly act and you deserve every award you get. Now, let me talk about these ass clown, EBT warrior, soy boys that think that they can put me on blast. Well, I make more money in one day then you’ll ever make in your entire fat virgin lives. You’re not going to piss on my parade and fuck me in the ass with a pirate ship.
Now, James, please take care of these trolls and put them on blast! I don’t got time for this shit. I’m Johnny Fucking Depp. I have to focus on CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY 2.”
You got it homie.
