Reviewed by Geno McGahee
The 1980s had many slasher films and a lot of them started with the failed love connection and since HOSPITAL MASSACRE takes place around Valentine’s Day, it only made sense that it does as well. Slasher films follow the same formula, so to separate them from the pack, filmmakers use locations and uniforms for the unknown killer. By the title of this film you can probably tell exactly where this takes place and just how the killer is dressed. We have a hospital and we have an insane doctor, going around using different medical tools to slice up his victims, but that is not where this story begins.
We begin with a young boy “Harold” who is shot down by the girl, Susan that he loves. He is so devastated that he kills the boy that she was with and then we jump ahead 19 years to the hospital where that very same girl Susan Jeremy (Barbi Benton) is going to see her regular physician but when he doctor isn’t to be found, things become strange. Her test results come up positive for some bad stuff and she is now being detained at the hospital.
Meanwhile, a man dressed like a doctor is going around killing people, screaming, punching walls like a madman. The beginning of this film is very amusing as the crazy doctor screams does some very strange things. On top of the doctor, we have some other weird things going on. When Susan is in an elevator and going to her floor, she accidentally stops at another and three men in gas masks are standing there, speaking very strangely and telling her that they are fumigating that floor. When she gets to her room, she is put in with mental patients. I began to think that it was a nuthouse and that the patients had taken over…that would have been cool. Sure it’s been done before, but what hasn’t been done before? Well, they led in that direction but elected not to follow that path, making a lot of this movie confusing.
The entire hospital staff seems to conspiring against Susan with the only exception being Harry (Charles Lucia), who believes that the crew is “pulling a scam” on her. He looks at her test results and realizes that nothing is wrong with her. They are holding her for some reason and every time that she tries to leave a perverted doctor and two enormous nurses make sure that she doesn’t go anywhere and bring her back to the room. These were giant nurses but they were still hot. They weren’t pigs. Sometimes when somebody says “enormous nurses” you assume that they are talking about obesity. I wasn’t. They are just tall.
A heart shaped box is dropped off in Susan’s room and her hubby’s severed head is inside. The killer is ready to reveal himself and when he does it is far from a surprise. I think that it’s surprising that he has held onto this torch for Susan for over 19 years. Why did he wait until he had a successful career before attempting to kill her? You figure, OK, he killed that kid, probably went away to juvenile prison or whatever and got out at 18, then he goes to college, gets his degree and becomes a doctor, probably meeting a lot of nice girls along the way. He probably had those two tall nurses throwing themselves at him and a lot of the female patients. A doctor is a position of power and you get the girls that way, but he still wants Susan…and I can’t say that I blame him. She was hot!!! But, like I said, for him to remain fixated on her all this time was odd under these circumstances. Usually the killer is locked in a basement or in a nuthouse and then come back to kill the one they love and that makes sense. They know nothing else. Very rarely do they have a successful career and lead a normal life before finally snapping again.
I was slightly disappointed with this movie. It started out very well and fizzled about halfway through, leading the audience in confusing directions that are never explained. They ended it a good way (spoiler) with the killer engulfed in flames and falling off of the roof of the hospital but it wasn’t enough to save it. If you like 80’s slasher films, you will probably enjoy this on some level. I enjoyed it but it could have been much much better. I reluctantly recommend it.
Scared Stiff Rating: 6/10. The Doctor is in(sane).
