By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. I remember watching HOME ALONE and seeing my boy, Macaulay Culkin dishing out some damage on the bad guys and how that fat brother of his, Buzz, was putting him on blast. Well, the tables have turned and now Buzz, real name “Devin Ratray”, is in some hot water and he might be home alone with Bubba in the prison shower room. YA HEARD!
Buzz was attacking his girlfriend for giving away one of his autographed pictures for free, which is unbelievable. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe he has a girlfriend and I don’t believe anyone would want an autographed picture either.
Well, unlike other so-called “journalists”, I’ve done my research and spoke to the police officer that arrested Ratray, Sgt. Myles Willington of the Oklahoma City Police and he had the following to say:
“My name is Sgt. Myles Willington. I’m a cop. I carry a badge. I got the call that there was a woman being attacked by a rotund man in a bar. I immediately hit the noise and cherries and recognized him right away. He was the slob from HOME ALONE and he had the balls to play a cop in HOME SWEET HOME ALONE and that was an insult to the entire force…even worse than that defund the police thing. They should defund the buffet with that slob. I put the cuffs on him and took him to the cruiser and got plenty of big boys in the big house that want to show Buzz their buzzers if you know what I mean and I encourage prison rape two hundred percent.” – Sgt. Myles Willington
I also caught up with the man that was given the autograph and you may remember him from the hit reality show AMERICAN IDOL, Taylor Hicks! He had the following to say:
