By Melissa Antoinette Garza
I saw this movie a few nights back when it was still called BIRDS OF PREY AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN (2020). To be completely honest, I wasn’t as excited as one would expect me to be to see the film. Don’t get me wrong – I love Harley Quinn. Paul Dini and Bruce Timm are Gods and their creation is one of the greatest characters in the history of both comic books and animated series.
That said, Amanda Conner’s Harley Quinn comics are god awful. Conner has ruined the core of Quinn and made her a carbon copy of so many other bad girls. She had devolved into an empty, soulless, caricature that relies on quirk alone. Conner really just needs to take some time off of writing and read some Paul Dini, Bruce Timm and even the amazing new HARLEEN series by Stjepan Sejic. Sejic knows how to write! Please someone just take the pen out of Conner’s hand.
Say what you will about SUICIDE SQUAD (2016), I fucking loved it. It was all over the place and inconsistent in more than a few areas, but Harley Quinn was portrayed as the Stockholm Syndrome, devoted, layered crackpot undoubtedly spawned out of Dini and Timm’s original fab vision.
HARLEY QUINN: BIRDS OF PREY went the other way. They ran with Conner’s take. To be fair, the film is far better than anything Conner ever did in her life, but it could have been so much better.
That said, it is a fun popcorn movie. It has some cool visuals and a solid story-line. The pace and tone run far more fluidly than in SUICIDE SQUAD, but that’s where the superiority ends.
Harley is empty. Her motives don’t make sense. She’s lost her identity and though the film acknowledges this in the beginning, it acts as though she finds one. She never does. She’s as soulless and incomplete a character as when the film started.
The story-line would have been far superior if Poison Ivy or Catwoman had led the pack. It could have even spawned an eventual SIRENS film. Harley just doesn’t make sense.
Now, I wanted my Mad Love movie. I wanted Jared Leto’s Joker and Margot Robbie’s Harley to have a strong R-rated violent, action packed fuck-fest reminiscent of THE GETAWAY (1972), TRUE ROMANCE (1993), WILD AT HEART (1990), BADLANDS (1973) and BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967).
In an interview, Robbie recently pondered why anyone would want Harley in an abusive relationship with the Joker. I’d like to answer that. First, it’s fiction and women are smart enough to know the difference between what they want in film and what they want in reality. It’s the difference between role-playing in the bedroom and having a dungeon with sex slaves. Movies are playtime. Not too many fems are going to hold up a police station because Harley did it.
Second, it isn’t the abuse that is intriguing. It’s Harley’s mindset that draws the viewer in. It’s what propels her into it. It’s her inclinations and motivations. It is the fact that the best parts of Harley – her nurturing, loving and compassionate side – brings out the absolute worst in her. Those wonderful attributes are the catalyst for her turning from a psychiatrist on the road to success into a hardened criminal who is ready to kill or die for love. If the Joker treated her properly and did not manipulate her, the entire story is lost and so is Harley’s depth.
Harleen turned into Harley Quinn for the Joker. She jumped into a vat of chemicals just to look like him and to prove her loyalty. That’s insane, but so much fun to watch. It’s a rush – but Hollywood, honey – it’s not life-changing. Women don’t need to be protected by you. You can depict insanity and most of us are going to realize that though it is amazing fun on film, it would be very fucked up in real life.
I love TRUE ROMANCE, but I promise you I’ll never try to buy weed off Gary Oldman. I get that he’s acting – unless, does Gary Oldman sell weed? Nahhhhh-
Another component to remember is that Harley isn’t an innocent in any of this. Yes, she is taken in by Stockholm Syndrome. Yes, her love for the Joker blinds her to a lot, but she is a murderer. She kills people. Let’s not pretend she’s a damsel-in-distress. We are not talking about Farrah Fawcett in THE BURNING BED (1984) for God’s sake! Just take a breath Hollywood! Stop trying to teach us lessons and protect us – and simply tell a fucking story! If nothing else, let JOKER (2019) teach you that!
So instead of my hot-and-heavy, wild ride that would have been Mad Love, we have HARLEY QUINN: BIRDS OF PREY.
The film opens with Harley (Margot Robbie) announcing that she and the Joker split. She hasn’t told the rest of Gotham yet as she likes the perks that come with being Mistah J’s gal. She overhears a few gals who do know what’s going on with her and the Joker. They are talking mad shit which rightfully upsets her. She tears off a gold chain with a “J” charm and then goes and blows up one of her old hangouts with the ex. Now, the scene with the explosion was fun. Harley was entertaining when she got the idea and the execution was cute.
Meanwhile, sleazy club owner Roman Sionis (Ewan McGregor) hates Harley and wants her dead. The only reason he hasn’t killed her yet is because he believes that she’s still dating the Joker. When he finds out she isn’t, he kidnaps her and is ready to kill her. She tells him she’ll find his missing diamond if he lets her go, and he does giving her a 24 hour deadline.
The diamond is in the hands – or more accurately the stomach of young Cassandra Cain (Ella Jay Basco). Baby Bat Girl/Black Bat hasn’t found her alter egos yet. She’s just a foster kid who lives with abusive douche-bags. She also can pickpocket like a mofo. When she gets the diamond and is arrested, she swallows it whole as to not get caught.
Harley tracks down Cain and the two become friends. She works to get the diamond out of her with laxatives while they watch cartoons on Harley’s couch. In one of the worst scenes of the movie, Harley runs out of options and nearly turns Cain over to Roman knowing it’s a death sentence for the young girl. That’s not Harley. She wouldn’t do that! In fact, if the Joker was going to do that, she’d hurt him. If you want to see Harley stand up to the Joker, have him hurt a child or Bud and Lou. (I don’t give a fuck, Bruce is not the name of either of her hyenas no matter how much you want it to be! “He’s named after that Wayne guy” – oh fuck right off!)
Renee Montoya (Rosie Perez) is a police officer who wants to take Roman down, but her male counterparts keep holding her back. The captain steals her successes, but makes her own every failure. It’s a man’s world and she’s living in it. As such, she drinks like a fish to deal with the bullshit.
Also, in this power pack of fems is Dinah Lance (Jurnee Smollett-Bell). She is by far the shining star of the film. She’s a hardcore Black Canary that tries to keep her head down but is ready to pound a bitch if pushed too far.
The weakest link and someone I constantly forget was even in the film is Helena Bertinelli aka The Huntress (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). For someone who has such a kick-ass backstory, the chick looks eternally bored throughout her performance. There’s stoic and then there’s an empty caricature. The Huntress falls into the latter category.
Helena watched her family get wiped out by a bunch of people as a little girl. She was found alive and adopted by an assassin. They trained her like the Karate Kid but with a more homicidal approach. Now, as an adult she is seeking out those who slaughtered her family. It’s an old-fashioned revenge tale and it seems like something that should capture the attention of the viewer. It doesn’t though. She seems unmoved by the death of her family. If not for her physically killing the people who assassinated them, I wouldn’t even know she was upset about it. I know we don’t want women to show emotion in films anymore, but when it is in regards to the death of an entire family, it’s okay Hollywood. Despite what The Four Seasons have sung to you, big girls can cry!
The older death scenes are filmed with this strange boring sepia tone over it. It’s like they were trying to capture the tone of THE GODFATHER (1972) in a movie that is more like THOR RAGNAROK (2017) meets TANK GIRL (1995). That was definitely a core problem. The film didn’t know what lane it wanted to drive in.
Did it want to tell the story of a stable of women who banded together and fought against a villain? Yes. Sometimes they hit with it and I saw chemistry between the gals, but sometimes it was just a group of individuals hitting dudes with baseball bats and other fancy weaponry.
Did it want to deliver social messages regarding sexism and the patriarchy? Yes and it did so like a hammer to the head. Thank you, BIRDS OF PREY. I now know sexism is bad. I’m totally going to be more aware of it now. First I’m hearing of it- Really. Thank you!
Did it want to show that women were strong and capable and don’t need a man to be happy? Yes, and it failed at that. None of these women looked happy – at all. Even after the men were out of their lives. Maybe, it wasn’t just the men causing them torment. Maybe they need some Zoloft or better looking clothes.
Seriously, what in the holy fuck was with that gold jumper that Harley was wearing? Come on! Come the fuck on! Come on! Bring back the goddamn fishnets. Since when is it a crime for fems to be sexy? Should we get a tiny little Thor without muscle tone wearing an over-sized mu-mu too? Sexy isn’t a chick thing! It’s a Hollywood thing and I fucking love it. Imma want Tom Hiddleston naked all the time! Don’t cover him up. I want Loki to wear less! Stop pretending puritanical bullshit is female empowerment. It’s not. It’s sexism. Stop telling fems what to wear and how much they have to cover up. It’s our fucking bodies, we’ll wear and NOT wear what we want to. We don’t need Hollywood telling us to hide ourselves, you bunch of body-shaming motherfuckers.
As for BIRDS OF PREY, it tried to do a lot of things and again it wasn’t horrible. It’s definitely more watchable than AQUAMAN (2018).
That’s said, I’m not at all surprised it’s failing. There are things within the movie that Harley Quinn does, but is completely out of character for her. If she overheard people talking trash about her, she wouldn’t cry in the bushes. She’d fuck the bitches up and then cry in the bushes.
She definitely wouldn’t agree to kill a child to save herself. She may adopt the child and fuck them up with hypnosis to make sure they remain on her side – but she’s no snitch. It’s not her thing. When she cares about someone, she will stay thru thick-and-thin. Loyalty and devotion have always been significant to her. Even in SUICIDE SQUAD (2016), she was a team-player who put her life on the line to save her friends. It’s embedded in her soul. To take that away shows that the filmmakers didn’t have a good grasp on the core character.
Also, if an old dude who she thought was her friend fucked her for a dime, she’d kill the bastard. She wouldn’t let him skate with an apology and a tear. It’s as though the film didn’t recognize where her strengths and weaknesses were and instead made her a nonsensical joke without any direction. That’s sad, and that’s why the film is doing so poorly.
Harley Quinn is beloved by a lot of people for a lot of different reasons. There are those who want her running solo. There are those like my best friend who want her draped around Poison Ivy. There are those who want her only with the Joker – and then there’s me who thinks there is room enough for everyone in that bed. Hey Ivy, Mister J isn’t all that bad. Jump onboard into their Mad Love. You’ll enjoy the ride – and if Hollywood ever dared make that movie, trust me when I say the Joker would not be the one in control. Ivy would wipe the floor with him. The Joker is my favorite – always will be, but I recognize a fem goddess when I see one and Poison Ivy always has his number.
In the end, we of course have the showdown. It’s the fems against Roman and a gang of peeps he brought together. No real surprises there. The initial take-down of his men was a fun watch, but the battle with Roman was nothing. I was surprised at how shallow that finale was.
Should you go see it? I’d wait for Redbox on this one unless you are a hardcore Robbie fan. She does her best to sell it. The woman is a dynamite actress and I love her, but she just got fucked with a mediocre script and filmmakers more intent on sending a message than making a movie. That never works.
That said, it’s watchable. If you’re out and there’s nothing to see, this isn’t the worst way to spend a Sunday afternoon. You’ll walk away thinking, “Not bad. Could have been a lot better.” Do you want to spend $10 for that? That’s up to you, buttercup. It depends on your wallet size and your level of boredom.
Scared Stiff Rating: 6/10
Give me my goddamn live action MAD LOVE movie – Thank you!
