“Well, I needed a night job to pay off student loans and contract killer pays really, really well.”- (Teagan) Teagan Presley
Adam & Eve Pictures recently released a double-feature Grindhouse collection. As I’ve stated in previous reviews, I’m a huge fan of porn parodies when done right. I think it has been an underrated genre which has finally received its just praise.
Student Assassin:
Much like the (2007) mainstream film Grindhouse, the double-feature opens with a hilarious trailer for a movie I wish was being released. It’s called Easter and follows a pissed off Easter bunny murdering everyone who comes near him
Student Assassin starts with the beautiful Teagan (Teagan Presley) and her gorgeous girlfriend Allie (Nina Mercedez) making love in the shower. Allie is a cop on a big case in Downtown LA attempting to break up a major drug ring. Teagan tells her to be careful and Allie assures her all will be fine.
Meanwhile drug dealers, Derrick (Derrick Pierce) and his girl (Brittany Amber) have a little fun. She says goodbye and just as the drug deal is about to go down Allie and her partner Eric (Eric Masterson) attempt to stop them. Unfortunately, they are taken prisoner. One of the officers who work with Allie rushes to the Northern Hollywood Community College where Teagan is at school. She immediately leaves class and goes home. She grabs every weapon including guns, swords, Chinese stars, nunchaku, and a good old fashioned baseball bat. She throws on a leather jacket and becomes the Student Assassin hell-bent on rescuing her lady love.
First and foremost, the love scenes are terrific. They are sexy and fun. Teagan and Nina start off the production in a hot scene that won’t soon be forgotten. Likewise, Derrick Pierce and Brittany Amber certainly deliver. The final love scene between India Summer and Seth Gamble also heats up the screen.
Though it’s a short production it leaves little to be desired. Teagan is fantastically hilarious as the assassin. She’s perfectly cast. The whole film is just silly but that’s what makes this genre so amazing.
Massacre at Pine Lake:
Massacre at Pine Lake follows the camp counselors one day prior to all the children arriving. An insane killer breaks free from two police officers whom he chokes out and murders. He finds his way to the camp where he finds the unsuspecting workers perfect targets for his anger.
The first sex scene begins as Wendall (Ralph Long) is cleaning up after the horses in the barn. Andy (Andy Sam Dimas) seduces him into doing her work for him as she doesn’t want to destroy her manicure.
Later that night, all the counselors have a party and once again their hormones get the best of them. Brianna (Brianna Blair) and Rocco (Rocco Reed) disappear and share a night of passion neither knowing that a murderer has just arrived.
The sex scenes are well-done and, for an X rated film, very plot driven. As a horror fan, I must say, that this follows the standard formula. For that it deserves great kudos. To provide a movie that is effective in being both a fun horror tale and a sexy adult film to watch with your loved one is no small feat. Here it accomplishes it and makes it look as though it was done with ease. The characters are as developed as they would be in any Friday the 13th. In fact, this film shares many similarities with the Friday the 13th porn parody, which is most certainly a compliment.
It is no surprise that Alexis Ford was fantastic as the lead actress and head counselor. Without question, she adds so much to the sensuality of any production she is in, but more than that she’s also a very talented actress who delivers her lines naturally. She is certainly leading lady material – in our out of the adult film industry.
The plot was sound and the overall acting was great. A bonus was the conclusion which had a fun twist that I wasn’t expecting.
The bonus disc offered many fun extras which I highly recommend you review. This is a must-have for any adult-film fan or Grindhouse fan alike.
Rating: 9/10
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