By Geno McGahee
Is it necessary for Stan Lee to appear in every single movie that he is associated with? What an ego on this old bastard and how quickly it takes you right out of the movie. Thankfully it happens in the beginning of this FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER flick, but it still sucks nonetheless.
We have Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd) ready to wed his incredibly hot girlfriend, Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba) in a huge event that is covered by the entire media. Mr. Fantastic has been so tied up in his experiments that he has neglected to make his girl happy and she is willing to make his stretchy balls blue if he doesn’t marry her. At the wedding is when we see Stan Lee and he is so annoying.
As they get married, a problem arises and that problem is the dickless Silver Surfer. He looks 100% CGI and they elected to make him without pants or privates but he does claim to have a girlfriend back on his own planet. Maybe he nails her with the surfboard.
The mission of the Silver Surfer is to destroy the planet earth and now the foursome must stop that and they have an unlikely alley: Dr. Doom (Julian McMahon). Dr. Doom is one of the coolest bad guys in comic book history and even though they do not do him justice, the portrayal of the character isn’t all that bad. He was still rather cool and when he went back to his wicked ways, he was much cooler.
After a few twists and turns, Dr. Doom takes control of the magical silver surfboard and is now one powerful bad guy. When he is on the surfboard and causing trouble, the movie is really fun, but the moments are fleeting.
Overall FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER is mediocre for a big budget superhero movie. The love story between Mr. Fantastic and Invisible Woman is lame and the Silver Surfer was pretty shitty too. The fact that he was OK with destroying world after world but the minute that Invisible Woman tells him that it’s not cool, he stops, is stupid. I recommend this movie, but it’s rather lame and unimpressive. They have a budget of 130 million dollars and they come up with this. Pathetic! And with no package, how on earth can the Silver Surfer “rise.” That’s false advertising…especially considering the time he spent with Jessica Alba.
Rating: 5/10…Stay out of your films Stan Lee!!!
