By Melissa Antoinette Garza
Currently, I am on a Richard O’Brien kick. He’s been an obsession of mine since I was thirteen. A few years ago, I finally got a tattoo on my shoulder of his ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW character Riff Raff with Patricia Quinn’s character Magenta. RHPS is such a huge part of who I am, and I will forever be enamored with its creator.
Every once in a while, when politics and the world in general seems too heavy, I drown myself in all that is ROCKY HORROR and Richard O’Brien. I’ve been watching so much of his work lately. As always, I started with the original movie that drew me in. After RHPS, I watched SHOCK TREATMENT (1981) about five times. I then watched the British show THE INK THIEF (1994) which is just beyond brilliant. You must find that show if you haven’t seen it. It’s legitimately fantastic and Richard O’Brien sings in it. It’s just perfection.
I watched him own every second of screen he was on in the game-show THE CRYSTAL MAZE (1990). I watched Drew Barrymore fawn over some long-haired prince in EVER AFTER (1998) while O’Brien shined as a dastardly and devious sexy pirate. I even traced down a 70s sexploitation movie, FOUR DIMENSIONS OF GRETA, where he had a quick scene in bed with two naked chicks. Between watching his films and shows, I also found some old interviews and commentaries he had done; and it goes without saying I listened to his music. His voice is beyond words and I get chills whenever he hits the high notes. Without question, Richard O’Brien is my eternal celebrity crush that I will just adore forever and at whatever he decides to do. He’s just magic.
When I said I drowned myself, I REALLY drowned myself! It culminated in me purchasing ELVIRA’S HAUNTED HILLS (2001) from AMAZON, today. One of my earliest memories is sitting in front of my living room TV and watching Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) sprawled on her couch in that sexy black dress of hers. She, to me, was always the ideal woman. She was sassy, sexy and playful. She could run with the boys but never lost her femininity. She attained the perfect balance.
The movie begins in Paris circa 1850s. Elvira keeps having nightmares where she is being buried inside of a wall by an unseen assailant. When awakened by their landlord, Elvira and her friend Zou Zou (Mary Jo Smith) run out on the bill and end up getting picked up by Dr. Bradley Bradley (Scott Atkinson). They are brought to a haunted castle and introduced to the owner, very sexy, Lord Vladimere Hellsubus (Richard O’Brien).
Upon seeing Elvira, he freaks out and leaves. It’s clear that whatever is freaking him out has to do with the portrait of a woman who is Elvira’s dead-ringer that hangs on the wall. It is soon revealed that the woman in the picture is the late wife of Lord Hellsubus.
When Elvira flirts with stable boy (Gabi Andronache), he tells her that the former Lady Hellsubus committed suicide and that poor Vladimere blames himself.
In the best scene of the film, Elvira and Vladimere walk together in a graveyard within the forest. Elvira in her iconic dress and a black cape while Vladimere wore a black suit, covered by a matching cloak. Atop his head he wore a top hat and covering his eyes were small rounded glasses.
It is in that scene and in that sexy wardrobe, while discussing his late wife with Elvira, that poor Vladimere blacks out and tries to attack her. After getting kneed in a rather unfortunate place, he comes to.
At one point, Elvira breaks into a music number and seeing Vladimere struggle to block his ears with his hands and then pillows is hilarious though there is a part of me that on the inside just screams at the TV, “let that beautiful man sing!”
In the end, all secrets are revealed and as this is a comedy, nothing is very surprising; but it is quite ridiculous fun. I love the way in which Richard O’Brien owns the scene as Vladimere when he stands in a black robe, playing with controllers that operate a Pit and a Pendulum style contraption where Elvira is being held captive. At that moment, every school girl fantasy I had, came to life on screen.
O’Brien is just perfect. The maniacal laughter and his insane mannerisms just had me asking the question that was on every viewer’s mind, “Why isn’t Elvira throwing herself at Vladimere?” Oh, that wasn’t the question on everyone’s mind? Just mine, then?
The typical winks to the camera are in full force here. The fourth wall is constantly being broken and there’s nothing subtle about it, but that’s part of the charm. This is a parody/homage to Hammer movies and it’s done very well. It’s silly and over-the-top and is both intended for and speaks to a specific core audience.
Overall, I highly recommend ELVIRA’S HAUNTED HILLS (2001). It’s quirky and it’s silly. That isn’t to say it’s perfect. I would have loved to see more Richard O’Brien. Of course, I always want more of Richard O’Brien – in everything. I’d love every store to come fully equipped with a Richard O’Brien section where he is just put into every movie that has ever existed. He is my safe space and my security blanket. When the world is scary and everyone is mad at one another, I can just find solace in the work of art that is Richard O’Brien and I am very thankful to him for that.
As for the movie, if you have an appreciation for 1970s Hammer films or an affection for either Elvira or Richard O’Brien, you’ll enjoy it. As I have affection for all three, I probably liked it more than most.
Scared Stiff Rating: 7.5/10
Richard O’Brien Rating: 11/10 (the math checks out)
