By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. Y’all know that when I was living it up in the 1970s, I was rocking that floor at the disco. YA HEARD! Now, I’ve heard about the worst thing that has happened to disco since that assclown loser, Rick Dees, sang that song “Disco Duck”. Really? Really? Nice try fella. Dees, get on your knees. YA HEARD!
Now, I get this message about this guy in West Springfield, Massachusetts, that decided to do the Disco Fuck to himself in his pants in a shopping plaza. Lawrence Disco, of Holyoke Massachusetts, with previous sexual offenses, was jacking off and a cop caught the dude naked. I guess the cop didn’t have to say “get them up” here. YA HEARD!
Because this gave such a bad name to disco, I decided to call my boy, KC, of KC and the Sunshine Band and he had the following to say:
“James, firstly, you are the best writer to ever live. Secondly, I want to put on my boogie shoes and kick this idiot in the balls. Disco was about to come back and now it’s about jacking off? Really? I bet this guy has a Bernie tattoo on his ass and an EBT card in his pocket. Give it up. Baby, give it up. Do a little song. Do a little dance. Jerk off tonight. Jerk off tonight. That’s what they want me to sing now! I’m so upset that I want to take this soy boy and throw him down a flight of stairs while he’s stroking his pickle. James, please handle this idiot and save disco. Also, tell Rick Dees to sit on it.”
I got this player.
(Note: Comments may not be those of KC.)
