By Melissa Antoinette Garza
I have wanted to see this for such a long time. I’ve heard only great things. It has a strong rating score on IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes has an audience rating of 77% and a critic rating of 87%. That doesn’t always mean the movie is going to be good, but as the trailer interested me and the film seemed to be perfectly cast, I was really excited. For some reason, I never got around to seeing it. As time went by, I forgot about it.
Yesterday, I went into the library with the sole intent of reserving a copy of the novel Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn as I always like to read the book prior to seeing the film. I may have to break my solemn vow of never supporting another film that cast Tyler Perry. God, I hate Tyler Perry. People often ask me why. Most agree his films are unfunny and depict negative stereotypes of the African American community. That said, some think he does this unknowingly and is overall a good Christian man with pure motives. To that I say, no – no and no. Yes, he’s donated money to his hometown and other charities to save face from bad publicity, but he’s still a douche-bag. There’s a terrific HBO movie made in 2000 called Dancing in September. I actually loved the movie so much that I purchased it and highly recommend it. Rather than going down another rabbit hole and writing a review within a review within a review, I will just say that there has never been a truer real-life representation of the movie than Tyler Perry. His massive ego is unwarranted in every conceivable way. For example, he was reported for being horrible to the cast and crew of his films and refusing to allow extras (even those there all day) to eat any food or beverages that were on set. Maybe one could hate the man but love his talent, if Perry had any, but his movies are always beyond awful. Without even touching on the poor editing and lack of direction in Tyler Perry films, his characters are embarrassingly empty and all to often Perry forgets to add a plot to his movies. Instead he just throws together a bunch of unfunny and offensive jokes that go nowhere. Lastly, he condescends to and insults his viewers. He also has played the race card against two officers for pulling him over for a traffic violation he openly admitted to committing but whined because the cops didn’t recognize him and/or give him special treatment. I hate Tyler Perry. I really really do – I hate him and his stupid ugly fat head. Hmm and with that very mature reaction, I may just read the book by Flynn instead.
That said, while at the library I glanced at the DVDs and picked up a few. When I saw Blue Valentine I was reminded that I had really wanted to see the movie. After all, everyone LOVED it. In all honesty, compared to Tyler Perry’s films Blue Valentine is the equivalent of Casablanca, but as Perry isn’t my threshold for judging film productions, I’m sorry to say I hated this. I thought it was a pretentious piece of trash that told a tale which had been told a 1000 times before, and often quite better.
A few days ago, I reviewed a fantastic movie called Barefoot and by pure coincidence my remarks within my review for that film, fit perfectly to explain what’s wrong with this one.
The whole film is just so depressing. The characters are disillusioned with life and lost any and all ambition. Their youthful dreams of success and aspiring to be different than their parents come crashing down as the reality of adulthood and disappointment set in which results in them realizing (to quote Patty Smyth and Don Henley) ‘sometimes love just ain’t enough.’
In all honesty, there really isn’t a protagonist in Blue Valentine. As the movie lacks heart or relatable characters, I can only introduce Michelle Williams’ character Cindy as the lead. She is in a dysfunctional relationship with her husband Dean (Ryan Gosling). Though they share a love, Dean is often jealous and reacts to simple questions with hostility without reason. Seriously, in one scene Dean basically tells Cindy she’s an idiot for telling him to utilize his wonderful creativity more. She tells him how many different talents he has and instead or reacting like a normal person and saying “thank you,” Dean throws a tantrum. Next scene, he’s telling her how much he loves her. Next scene, as he wants to make love to his wife, she tries to essentially get him to hit and (?faux?) rape her. He pulls away and refuses to do it. She runs off and cries locking the door behind her. This is the point I should have shut the movie off but at this point I was so far in, I figured I should follow it to its inevitable train-wreck – I mean conclusion.
Through a series of flashbacks, we see Cindy having sex with her ex-boyfriend and him ejaculating inside of her and making her pregnant. He’s a jerk and by the time she finds out she’s knocked up, she’s on cloud 9 with Dean.
Meanwhile, at home Cindy has a wise old grandmother who gives her advice. She also has a father who screams and knocks over food his wife makes for no other reason than to be a dick. I know that there are relationships where one party is an absolute scumbag or basket case and takes their frustrations out on the person. I get it. Yet rather than being commentary on domestic violence, this was just a plot device so that Cindy could make it clear that she didn’t know what a real loving relationship was but she knew she didn’t want what her parents had. It was dumb and unnecessary.
Dean has his own issues at home. His mom split when he was 10, he quit high school and his father was a janitor who could have been a musician as he could play all instruments beautifully. Dean too can play instruments and thus when he does nothing with his talent, the audience is left to conclude, “he’s just like his dad.” Enlightened!
Cindy attempts to get an abortion but right before the procedure starts, she stops it and runs out. Dean stays with her and the two get married. Despite, the daughter being Cindy’s ex, Dean raises her as if he was her own.
In the approximately 7 years they’ve been together, Dean has apparently let himself go terribly. He has male pattern baldness, is a drunk, and dresses as though he obtained his clothing from a 1980s thrift shop clearance sale.
At the end, just to stick with the overall pretentious tone, despite Dean’s pleas Cindy tells him that she needs time. He walks away as their daughter cries and begs him to stay thus leaving the viewer on an ambiguous note.
Sometimes ambiguity is necessary to better the story. For example, never finding out in 12 Angry Men whether the defendant is guilty or innocent is better as it doesn’t matter.
Here it’s just done to make it seem artsy and intelligent. It’s neither. Whenever we are in present day there’s a dull tone to the scenes or worse the blue light to try to show how insightful the director is. In all honesty, it just makes me long to watch a real artistic movie like Blue Velvet ….odd – they both utilize the color blue in their title but only Lynch knows how to use it and in art’s purest and most honest form put something together. On the other side Blue Valentine is really the exact same plot as The Story of Us with Bruce Willis and Michele Pfeiffer. The Story of Us though not recognized is far superior in every way.
Though the movie was awful I did think the cast did a great job, but that was the only saving grace.
Scared Stiff Rating: 2/10
