By Geno McGahee
Netflix has put out a good deal of holiday films and with reason. Hallmark has made a shit ton of money creating them, even though the majority are mostly empty and forgettable. BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVER! features some notable stars including Heather Graham as Charlotte Sanders, Brandy Norwood and Jackie Jennings and Jason Biggs as Rob Sanders. I’ve not seen Biggs in anything for so long. The last time I saw him, he was nailing an apple pie. Having sex with an apple pie might be the fountain of youth because Biggs aged incredibly well.
Jackie puts out a holiday newsletter concerning her family and how well they are doing. She brings up her very young daughter, Beatrix (Madison Skye Validum), going to Harvard, her husband, Valentino (Matt Cedeno), running his own martial arts company and herself, her son saving the world along with how she is making all sorts of money. Her old friend, Charlotte, gets the letter and sees it as bragging. The fact that Jackie used to date her husband adds to her disgust.
Charlotte’s two kids, Grant (Wyatt Hunt) and Dora (Abby Villasmil) are intrigued by the letter, especially Grant. Grant is young and has a monkey stuffed animal that appears in nearly every scene of this film. When the family plans to drive to Charlotte’s sister’s house, Grant puts Jackie’s address into the GPS and they arrive late, not knowing where they are.
Jackie invites them to stay and they agree to do so, but just overnight, but that changes when they are snowed in. Charlotte is immediately jealous and upset over the interactions with her husband and his old flame. This was a situation where Rob was not going to win. That look that he gets from Charlotte is one that most husbands have seen at some point. It’s that “how dare anyone else think you’re awesome” look and it will not be tolerated. Charlotte carries the look a lot in this film.
Despite the animosity, the Sanders family is convinced to stay for the holiday. Charlotte meets Valentino and her tongue hits the floor, which Rob doesn’t seem to mind. He actually expected it. He told her that Valentino was hot, which is odd, but I suppose I’d do it too should I find the dude hot. I think Rob should have spoken up here though. He should have said “why the fuck are you up my ass about Jackie being nice to me, but now I have to get a mop after you meet this guy.”
Things get really bad as Charlotte sneaks into the house when everyone is away and starts snooping around. This leads to a broken Christmas present that was very sentimental for Valentino and for some secrets to be exposed. I don’t know how Jackie is so forgiving. Charlotte shows up, gives her the evil eye, eye-fucks her husband, goes through her private things and then accuses her of trying to fuck her husband and Jackie lets it slide. Christmas with the two families will still happen.
As all this turmoil happens, Beatrix and Grant are trying to prove Santa is real through evidence. I thought this was a pretty fun side story in this film. The child actors in this movie are remarkably good and that’s typically a complaint of mine when I watch Hallmark movies. The child actors are usually very weak, but not here. They are likable and decent.
It was no shocker that there was some big holiday event in this film. That usually happens where there is a festival or something and this film has a pageant. This leads to Jackie and Charlotte becoming close again and proving Santa does exist, more or less. It’s a big happy ending as expected and a relatively decent holiday film.
BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVER! has a lot going for it. Heather Graham isn’t the greatest actress in the world, but she makes up for it in likability. She’s very easy to root for and I was, despite all the bullshit her character was pulling. The same goes for Biggs. If auras exist, I think both of these actors are probably good people in real life. I would bet money right now that neither will appear on the Diddy or Epstein lists. Same with Brandy. She was great in this too. This was just a good cast that did very well.
I recommend this film. I had some laughs and it might not be a classic, but it’s not fluff either. It’s worth a watch.
