By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. You have all heard about the term “Karen” and there are a lot of them. They’re the ones that yell at skateboarding kids in the park, yelling at the dude at McDonalds that didn’t make her burger right and now, pushing this mask thing at every turn. Really? Really? Nice try fella. YA HEARD!
So, I woke up this morning and checked my emails and could not believe that I got six billion emails, mostly about Patricia Cornwall, former Baywatch babe turned Delta Karen. She took offense that some guy with one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel took off his mask to eat. She wasn’t having it. She definitely is not going to save him if he’s drowning in the ocean. She’s let that old fuck drown.
Baywatch Babe and Skeletor bitched back and forth and it ended with Cornwall slapping and spitting in the face of this old dude. He will have quite the story to tell at the next Bingo night. YA HEARD!
I know Cornwall is getting a lot of bad press about this, but I want to see the whole video. I’m guessing there’s more here than meets the eye. You know old people are always stirring up shit. This dude probably said something about Baywatch sucking because all the tits were probably fake and didn’t bounce right or that the show was only one hour long and it takes four hours to Viagra to kick in. Do the math. No matter what, it’s disappointment.
So, I gotta go with Cornwall here. She seemed to be the one in the right here, but I did my duties as a journalist and contacted some of my legendary friends to get their input on this matter…
“Some people stand in the darkness. Afraid to come into the light. Some people need to wear a mask when their plane gets into its flight. Don’t you worry. It’s gonna be alright and that old Mr. Burns-looking geek should have forced his dinner through the mask. Mask up you old geek! Patricia was 100% right to put that guy on blast.” – Baywatch #1 Fan, Clark Anderson
“SOUL PATROL! Patricia, you didn’t make me proud with that behavior but that old man thought he was Simon Cowell after entering the bathroom after Ruben Studdard dropped his famous deuce. SOUL PATROL!” – American Idol LEGEND, Taylor Hicks
(Comments may not be those of Taylor Hicks)
