By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. I was going through my billions of emails this morning got some incredible news. A woman in a wheelchair was put on blast by some 26-year-old soy boy, cellar-dwelling, EBT-toting, jobless geek. He dumped her out and tried to run away with her wheels. REALLY? REALLY? Nice try fella. Thankfully, the good people that saw this shit go down took this assclown down and got the chair back.
I caught up with my boy, Sgt. Myles Willington of the Arizona Police Force and he had the following to say:
“The name is Sgt. Myles Willington of the Arizona Police Force. I carry a badge. Now, I got the call of grand theft wheelchair and took my cruiser down to the scene and saw the soy boy sitting there and as I roughed him up and threw him down two flights of stairs, his EBT card flew out of his pocket. When I saw that woman in the wheelchair on the ground, sitting on her fat rump, I got furious. I was even more furious then when I found my wife fucking my neighbor, that god damn white trash prick. Well, if these liberal judges here in Arizona let this guy go, I’ll give my own sentence. That Bitch is getting the death penalty when I’m done. Don’t worry about me. I got the blue shield. They’re not going to roll over on me.”
Thank you for your service to the community Myles. You are a true man.
