By Melissa Garza
Stacy Keach
Your Ass is a Peach
If I could put my hand in the TV
I would reach
That’s my poem about the great Stacy Keach’s amazing rear.
He starred in this crazy obscure TV movie; and I was delighted that he wore very tight pants. I miss men wearing tight pants. It’s much more attractive than the loose jeans that are so low that they reveal underwear. Keach or whoever was in charge of the wardrobe definitely knew that acting wasn’t Mr. Keach’s only asset.
All The Kind Strangers starts with Jimmy (Stacy Keach) driving down the street. He sees Gilbert (Timothy Parkison) who is a very young child carrying groceries. Quickly, he pulls over and finding that Gilbert has over a mile to go, he offers the boy a ride. Much to his chagrin, he has to drive through a huge field and a creek.
When he gets there he meets the leader of the family, Peter (John Savage) who is also the eldest son. Altogether there are six odd children who greet Jimmy. Jimmy becomes very unnerved and attempts to leave only to be trapped as his new car refuses to start.
He accepts the offer to spend the night and soon meets Carol Anne (Samantha Egger) who the children call mama. When he goes into the kitchen and the children aren’t around, Carol writes “HELP” in flour.
His suspicions grow when the children begin calling him “papa.” The next day his car is gone.
Carol Anne explains to him that they chose him and that he must stay as she must or Peter will kill him. To ensure they don’t leave, they have hound dogs that guard the place closely.
The ending is strange and one must wonder whether a penalty should be paid for certain crimes or if the crimes of Peter are understood.
Keach is always awesome! He’s just great. He was in a really underrated anthology named Body Bags.
I’m also a fan of Savage. I’ve loved him since I saw him in Hair and he also played a very disturbing pedophile/murderer on Law & Order SVU.
I highly suggest this movie.
Scared Stiff Rating: 6.5 + 2 points for Keach’s bottom beauty = 8.5
