By Geno McGahee
Hallmark picks up a lot of former television series actors and actresses for their movies. They’ve gone into reality TV and picked up former AMERICAN IDOL contestant, Kellie Pickler, to star in the latest release “THE MISTLETOE SECRET.” I will say this right now. I liked this film a lot more than I liked AMERICAN IDOL.
Aria (Pickler) owns a family diner that was given to her by dad, Mack (Patrick Duffy). Her favorite TV star, Sterling Masters (Christopher Russell), is looking for a town to write about and she submitted Midway, Utah, her hometown, as a potential and now, they are down to the last three and she may just be getting her wish.
In San Francisco, Sterling has chosen Midway, but he has a secret. He is a fraud. His friend, Alex (Tyler Hynes), has been doing all the writing that he’s known for. It was the same writing that has stolen the heart of Aria. I wonder if anyone ever reads my writing and feels the same. Probably not. I don’t write romantic stuff. I guess I could, but it would seem forced and probably be weird. I’m just going to pretend that people read my stuff, probably my INCREDIBLE HULK TV SERIES reviews and fall in love immediately. If they don’t, to hell with them.
Alex makes his way to town and meets up with Aria immediately at the “Mistletoe Diner.” I think it’s cool to name your place whatever you want, but I would think they would lose business. If I drove up and saw a place with that name, I may think that they are a seasonal business. Alex let himself in anyway and had some pie and was met by the very kind, Aria, and they sort of hit it off.
To hide his identity, Alex tells Aria that he’s writing a novel called “Mistletoe Mystery.” We learn that Aria is seeking something that she calls a “mistletoe man”, which I initially thought must be a guy that paints his junk like a candy cane. I guess not. She is seeking a man that is just cool and loyal and maybe paints his junk like a candy cane. I think she wouldn’t care if he did.
As Alex and Aria begin to hit it off, Sterling comes to town, and he turns out to be a total asshole dickhead. Alex approaches him to help him with a novel he is writing and he wants Sterling to pull strings to get published, but he is shot down. Not only does Sterling fuck him over with his book, he starts to move in on Aria.
Mack wants his daughter to hook up with Alex, for some reason, and even says: “I like that young man honey. He’s got the making of a true mistletoe man.” That sounds like man crush city to me. Keep in mind that Mack has been single for some time since his wife died and he may be willing to explore all sorts of shit. If Aria didn’t jump quickly, I would not be shocked one bit if Mack and Alex became a thing, and I bet Alex would look into his eyes and say: “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Patrick Duffy?”
Alex gets increasingly more irritated by Sterling’s bullshit. He is the brain and talent behind all the success and this smiley shithead is taking all the credit and getting the girl? I know that Alex wanted to say “suck my pickler” to him, but he has far too much class or it’s in a deleted scene.
Mack catches on to the bullshit and steps in, speaking to Alex and basically tells him: “I want you to nail my daughter…not that pretty boy!” He needed that support. It’d be like competing with John Travolta if he came to town and if you were competing over masseuses. It’s the same thing. No?
Unbelievably, Aria thinks that Sterling is the god damn mistletoe man. This does not go over well with Mack. It’s the return of the Mack. I like that song. Aria has no idea that her idol is a fraud, but this is Hallmark and they’re not going to allow an unhappy ending or for a king douche to get the girl in the end. I was amazed by Mack. What dad ever accepts the boyfriend of their daughter so willingly? The only time I ever encountered that was when I dated a drug addict. Her parents loved me. I was the first non-junkie that she dated. That doesn’t count though…but they did call me her mistletoe man, which is when we broke up. I wasn’t ready for such a commitment.
Remarkably, Sterling does the right thing and doesn’t cock-bock anymore. He steps aside and lets Alex get some credit for his writing and a shot at Aria. I got to get new friends. All my friends are dicks. They would have taken the girl, took credit for my INCREDIBLE HULK TV SERIES reviews and left me watching skinamax. I was wrong about Sterling. He wasn’t the big dickhead douche I thought.
THE MISTLETOE SECRET is pretty good. Pickler isn’t a great actress and it shows at times as she struggles, but she’s likable enough to forgive. The story is basic, but I found it enjoyable and silly enough to watch through and laugh at times. Hallmark did a good job here. I recommend it.
