Hollywood Press Release
James Witherspoon beat out the entire planet to win the “Best Man Ever to Live” Award, given only once every 500 years. Witherspoon was caught by the press after the victory and had the following to say:
“My friend Quentin Tarantino said it best. He said, James, you are the best man to live and he was right. YA HEARD! I’m way better than some hillbilly motherfucker in PA that claims to know him. So, I accept this award for all the bitches out there. YA HEARD!”
Well, I’d like to say that this was a shocker, but if anyone deserved this great and prestigious award, it is James. He noted that there would be a rapper known as Dirty Dildo performing at his victory party and a plastic woman reciting poetry as well. He noted that all bank robbing creepers have been banned.
Big congrats to James for the victory. You deserve it. You are truly at the dawn of a new career.
