By Melissa Antoinette Garza
The hubby and I went on an impromptu date night to CAPTAIN MARVEL (2019). There’s been so much controversy around this movie and I was curious to see whether the film was a story about a strong female superhero or an over-the-top, patronizing propaganda film. To be fair, it’s in the middle.
To summarize the movie, in 1989 Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) was working a mission aside her best friend Maria (Lashana Lynch). She crashed and was presumed dead, but instead absorbed her super powers. She becomes crazy strong but doesn’t remember her past. She is taken to another galaxy by Yon-Rogg (Jude Law). She is told her name is Vers and is trained to take on an alien race that are said to be terroristic invaders. In reality they are being victimized by Rogg’s regime and are refugees without a home. Vers doesn’t know this until she comes face-to-face with the aliens later on and then she feels bad and shifts sides. This is where the film begins and it’s 6 years after Danvers original crash.
Regarding just the quality of the film, it’s pretty good. Brie sells the shit out of Marvel. She’s strong, she’s fierce, she’s badass and it’s not forced with her. When Larson is destroying people with ease, it’s legit believable. That’s when this film shines. When Marvel is just fucking up enemies left and right, it’s great.
The first hour of the film, admittedly was so slow. Jude Law’s performance as Yon-Rogg needed work. He was campy when he should have been straight and straight when he should have gone camp. Not that his role was an easy one. For much of the film, he was supposed to give the illusion of being in Marvel’s corner but the turn was an obvious one. Since it was so obvious, it would have made sense for Yon-Rogg to give the wink and the nods to the camera when he was pretending to be a good guy. We all knew he was going to be a bad guy. That’s when the camp should have been on full-force. Instead, it wasn’t until the big reveal happened and Yon-Rogg figures out Marvel is no longer on his side, that he went camp. This is when he needed to be serious. His plan failed. It blew up in his face. He’s fucked. Why is he giving those winks and nods now? Why does the over-the-top aspects happen in the most significant part of the film? That’s when we need this to be serious. We’re invested. Give us hardcore Rogg!
As for the controversy, it’s not completely without a point. In many scenes, CAPTAIN MARVEL is an amazing feminist anthem. When NO DOUBT’s JUST A GIRL is playing and Marvel is kicking ass, I’m in it. I’m that 12 year old girl who grew up with a stay-at-home mom in a sexist environment saying “fuck y’all—look at what Marvel can do!” I love it. At one point, she uses her superpowers to their full extent against Rogg’s wishes. He wants her to taper them back, she’s using everything she’s got and defends it by saying, “I have nothing to prove to you.” FUCKING BADASS! I love that! That’s the way a fem goddess approaches a man who wants to dictate how they are or what they do. You tell them, “fuck you. Imma do what I want! You don’t own me. I’m Lesley Gore, motherfucker!” And to a great extent, that’s what Marvel does.
That’s not all it does though! Why can’t that be all it does? Why does it have to go overboard? Why must you give the YOUTUBE ranters ammunition? Okay—so the bad. There are full on montages of a little girl who is supposed to be Marvel getting pushed down her entire life in different situations and getting back up. It’s such a hammer-to-the-head. I get it. Carol was pushed around her whole life because she was a girl and she kept getting back up because girls are strong and can do anything. I get it, but it’s done in the most painful way possible. It could have been good. Upon finding out she was Danvers, if they just showed a few memories of obstacles she overcame, I’d be on-board, but this isn’t that. This is like a commercial that Coke would do to show “hey we’re hip with women. We get you. Men don’t like you, but we do. Men don’t respect you, but we do.” It’s patronizing as fuck. It doesn’t matter if it was written and directed primarily by a woman or not, it’s still pandering. It’s Hillary and the hot sauce. It’s Michael Rapaport’s entire embarrassing career—if you can call it that. It’s so affected. At least, when pro-wrestlers do it they admit that it’s for the pop of the crowd. CAPTAIN MARVEL acts as though it’s bringing forth new ideas that women can do stuff too. Wow…dangerous concept, guys! For fuck sake, we know that. We don’t need you explaining to us that it’s okay that women can do these things—just show her doing it.
What sucks is that Brie Larson is an amazing actress in this and doesn’t need all that jazz, but it’s forced upon her. Brie is balls-to-the-wall badass. She didn’t need the push. She had it and instead of trusting Larson to tell the story of a strong woman, you added forced emotionalism that stirs no emotion except ridicule—and it’s deserved ridicule. It’s stupid. That’s all it is. It’s a stupid scene to get applause. STOP IT HOLLYWOOD. Women can be strong without the caveat of “they had it so tough and overcame so much—bad men…bad bad men.” We can be strong in our own right, absent of a sexist telling us we can’t do things. Yes, Marvel should have faced adversity and even gender based adversity, but not to the extent or in the manner it was done. The stuff with Rogg made sense. Her own feelings of inadequacy past sleights, makes sense. Her going full Marvel because she fell down in a baseball game and dusted herself off because that’s what humans/specifically women do—ohhhh fuck right off with that.
Another area that pissed me off was the cop-out non-romance between Danvers and her best friend Maria (Lashana Lynch). This was clearly written to have those two women in a relationship. They loved each other. They shared a life together. This wasn’t buddies for coffee—this was family pictures of a life that the two shared together. There are never pictures of them with spouses or anyone else. They were spending holidays together solo in a family sort of way. My guess is that this was written initially with the two together and that Brie got cast. Since she’s not gay, they didn’t want the backlash and canned the story-line. That’s the only thing that makes sense here and it’s a bitch move.
There were so many scenes that seemed to want to lead to a kiss, but didn’t. The two had chemistry. The two had a strong connection. The two had an emotional connection. There’s a built in relationship already and rather than explore it and truly make this a woman’s Feminist Anthem and celebration of female love, they copped out. Come on! Maria and Danvers so clearly should have been in a marriage if not a long-term relationship. This wasn’t just a friendship and damn the film for writing it the way they did and then pretending it was. Marvel as a lesbian icon, makes perfect sense. What is more fem than that? Do it up, buttercup! Give us the whole thing. Don’t show us all this about strong women and women being able to do anything when as a movie you’re too much of a bitch to stand up to the plate because you’re afraid of a little heat in the kitchen. You can’t have it both ways! You can’t be “I’m strong. I’m fierce. I will fuck you up, but please don’t say bad things about me because I’m scared.” Own it!
That said, it’s not all bad. Samuel L. Jackson was fab. He’s never really NOT fab. It was cool to see a younger 90’s Nick Fury. He had some great lines and a fun relationship with kitty Goose.
Ben Mendelsohn as the head alien Talos gave a great performance as well. Most of the acting is above-par. I will say the entire alien war bored me and again felt like I was in school rather than watching a movie. “Do you see the nuance? Do you see how their struggle is the same as what’s going on today? Look at how smart we are that we tied all this together for you? Do you see now? We’re so much smarter. We’re Hollywood and you’re welcome. We’ve enlightened you with aliens.” Oh, fuck off. Just fuck off.
That’s the reaction you’re going to get. I’m sorry. And it’s not because I necessarily disagree with the politics of the film. I love fems. I hate war. I want wars to end, but fuck off. Stop preaching and show. Stop selling me a sap story you think is subtle when it’s as obvious as Rod Serling’s glorious hairpiece. You all are not as smart as you think you are. The people you think you’re enlightening know as much as you. You’re not philosophers and we don’t care about your message. Just tell a good story. That’s what the majority of us wants. You’ll never please everyone, but for the love of God stop pandering. Even those you pander to are rolling their eyes. You had a good thing—why make it suck?
Still, Annette Bening was great as always. She definitely added to the female anthem aspect of the movie. She’s a powerhouse actress and one I admire. She was in a somewhat dual role as both the Supreme Intelligence and Carol’s old boss Dr. Wendy Lawson. They were virtually the same as Danvers vision of the Supreme Intelligence was based on the person she respected the most. Still, Bening brought her A game. This wasn’t a phoned in performance. She played it tough-as-nails and it worked. She was fabulous.
In the end, the movie was okay. It was watchable. There were moments I got revved. The soundtrack was terrific. The performances, for the most part, were fantastic. It only lost me when it tried to treat me like a student in a remedial course regarding sexism and politics. Fuck off with that. I don’t need you for that. Tell me the story about a kickass female superhero who takes down men with ease and I’m in like Flynn. When you attempt to get pats on the back for being sooooo understanding of the female plight, fuck you. Your portrayal of it sucks. It’s the difference between female nudist colonies and slut walks. It’s the difference between Helen Reddy’s uniting feminism which I adore and Samantha Bee’s toxic dividing feminism which I hate. It’s the difference between an ACTION and a REACTION.
When we see Marvel react instead of act, it’s still a submissive role. Thankfully, Brie isn’t a submissive type and sold the fuck out of it, but that difference is a significant one and it’s lost on this movie at times. If you do something JUST because someone tells you that you can’t, you’re still managing your life around them. That’s not a power move. That’s a bitch move. They shouldn’t even be a thought. They may be an obstacle. That’s different and that’s when this movie shines. Sure, in a feminist anthem flick you need walking/talking obstacles. You need villains and yes in context, you need sexists; but when you have Carol at different ages staring defiantly into a camera because she succeeded in areas where she wasn’t expected to, what feminist message does that send? Do stuff that men says you can’t to prove them wrong?
The ending acknowledges this message and does so in a great way. When Danvers tells Rogg, “I don’t have to prove anything to you.” I cheered. I literally cheered – because that’s what this is about. I don’t owe you anything. I don’t care about you. You mean nothing. Your expectations of me do not change my existence at all. I am who I am and fuck you if you don’t like it. Find some other cat to hang with. That’s the message. Why it had to get muddled until the last 5 minutes, I don’t know. I don’t know what game was going on. I don’t know if they legit thought this was a way to express feminism or if it was trying to get accolades for being progressive. I don’t like it though. If you’re going to use women or their plights to get an Academy Award, at least be cool about it.
Do I suggest it? Yeah, sure. Why not? It’s a thing to watch and it makes me nostalgic for Blockbuster.
Scared Stiff Rating: 5.5/10
