By Melissa Antoinette Garza
If there is a woman alive who hasn’t had to deal with a barrage of idiocy online from alpha-male morons, who long for the days of female servitude, I haven’t met her. I envy her, but I haven’t met her. To cleanse myself of the latest douche-o-rama, I decided to venture into a film with a likeable sexist and more importantly 3 badass feminine heroes who take the misogynistic goof down with ease.
The film opens with Judy (Jane Fonda) jumping into the job market for the first time. She’s recently divorced and lands an office job where she is shown the ropes by widow Violet Newstead (Lily Tomlin). Violet knows the place like the back-of-her-hand and has been there for years. She’s in line for a promotion, but is denied because her horrible boss Franklin Hart Jr. (Dabney Coleman) wants a man in the position. Making matters worse, Violet not only trained the man who was given her job, but also trained Franklin when he first came to the company.
When Violet brings Judy in to meet Franklin, he’s his normal dick self. He makes some lewd remarks regarding Judy’s looks and then forces Violet to buy his “wife” a present. It is only later that Violet finds out the gift wasn’t for Franklin’s wife, but instead his secretary and suspected mistress Doralee Rhodes (Dolly Parton).
Doralee is my favorite. She’s sweet, tough and happily married! She works hard and is NOT sleeping with Hart! She always thwarts his advances, but the office gossip persists and Franklin encourages it. She hasn’t a clue why everyone is so despicable toward her, but learns when Violet gets angry and spills it.
After learning she was turned down for another promotion, Violet says in front of DoraLee that she’s his mistress. Doralee is horrified by the allegation. After telling Franklin off, she takes the rest of the day off and hits the bar with Violet. Judy also leaves when she finds out a co-worker was wrongfully terminated and gets drinks with them.
The three women immediately bond and decide to go smoke some weed over Doralee’s house. There each one has a fantasy about how they would get rid of Hart.
Judy imagines the entire office hunting him down. Violet sees herself as Snow White poisoning him and throwing him out the window. Lastly, Doralee pictures herself as a boss who hilariously sexually harasses a shy Hart and then lassos him like a cowgirl.
The net day, Violet accidentally uses rat poison instead of sweetener in Hart’s coffee thus setting off a chain of events that mirrors each fantasy. They initially think they’ve killed him, but when he arrives at work the next day a sigh of relief overtakes them all. It’s short-lived when kiss-ass Roz (Elizabeth Wilson) blabs to Hart after spying on the women in the bathroom. She learns and tells everything.
Hart calls Doralee in and says he’ll forget about the attempted murder if she sleeps with him. Doralee is portrayed by Dolly Parton! Do you think that’s going to fly? Hell TO THE No! That badass Goddess ties that motherfucker down. I love Dolly! I love her so goddamn much!
Initially, when everyone is mean to Doralee and she talks to her husband, she’s absolutely adorable. I’ve worked in an office for years and I know how tedious gossip can be. It’s so nice to come home and have a partner put things in perspective. I love that scene.
After Dolly ties her bitch boss up, she tells Judy to watch him while she runs to get Violet. Judy starts off the softest. She actually unties Hart believing him to be injured. When he gets up though, she does grab Doralee’s gun from her purse and shoots at him. It’s awesome. It’s so hilarious!
Violet and Doralee run over hearing the gun shots. Fearing prison, they kidnap him and store him at his house. With Hart out of the way and Doralee knowing how to sign his name, the women start making dramatic changes at work to better the environment and give more to the employees.
All three women ,find themselves when they take over. Violet turns the office into the place she always knew it could be. Doralee clears her name and makes Hart the fool in the process. Lastly, Judy finds her voice and footing both at work and with her sleazeball ex.
This is a classic. Recently, Dolly was on THE TONIGHT SHOW and mentioned a sequel. I can’t wait. The entire cast is fantastic.
Dabney Coleman is absolutely terrific in this. I love him and here he was a comedic genius. If not for hating him so much, the evolution of the women would not have impacted the viewer as much.
Of course, the women run the show and do so marvelously. Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dolly Parton are fabulous together. Their mutual chemistry made for a genuine and enjoyable watch. The story of their blossoming friendship is done in such a spectacular and hilarious manner. This was a movie about female empowerment, taking down the man and beating down doors; but it isn’t heavy. Instead, it’s laughs from start-to-finish. One can only hope that the sequel brings back this magic.
Scared Stiff Rating: 9/10
