By Geno McGahee
I remember going to the video store and looking for this movie back in the day and they had the case but the asshole that rented it last never returned it. I had two choices. One, I could buy the movie without knowing if it was good or not, or bide my time. It has been 13 years and now the time is right to finally sit down and watch PARTY CRASHER: MY BLOODY BIRTHDAY, which was just released in a 20 pack of horror films for 10 bucks. I have the last laugh here! Ha-ha-ha! I hope that guy that didn’t return it to Hollywood Video got it hard in the ass with late fees.
We start with a sweet sixteen for Henry Primo (Randy Ackerman). He comes from a wealthy family and has his eyes set on a special girl, but Jim Kizay (Tom Wescott) slips Henry some acid into his drink…lots of acid. It really screws with Henry’s brain and sends him on a killing spree that leaves seven of his friends dead. When he awakes the next morning, he doesn’t remember a thing, but the blood that covers him and the knife by his side tells the story and sends him away for fifteen years.
Henry’s parents create a safe room in their home to take him back. It’s basically a cell for him to stay and get re-acquainted with his folks, but time has not been good to him. The now 31-year-old Henry looks 55 and he’s packed on the pounds. To be safe, they transport him with a straight jacket and then use chains wrapped around him as well. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
On top of wearing a mask, he has lost his ability to speak, communicating strictly with a pad and paper, but he can also use telepathy now. OK…what is going on here? They bring up his sister that we see for one scene and she notes that she can communicate with him. That is met harshly by her parents and then they dismiss it. This film completely loses any coherency at this point. The writer must have had a few ideas and then forgot to follow through on any of them.
The movie begins to move along at a snail’s pace and then they turn the villain into a hero by having Henry rescue a woman from a mean dog, getting injured in the process. He gets a special invite to his class reunion where they are going to give him an award for valor, but his old foes want one more go at him. As they bring him in, in a wheelchair, the bad guys led by Jim Kizay, hook up electricity to it and zap him for a while. They finally realize that he’s being electrocuted and help Henry out, but now he’s ready to kill again and this time, with intent! Oh yes, did I mention this movie makes zero sense at this point?
The killing spree is on and there are some telepathic stuff going on too, but they never really go into it just like they ignored the sister storyline right after they brought it into play. Henry kills and kills and then finds the wrong end of a gun, but this is horror and they kept him alive for a potential sequel that, thankfully, never came.
PARTY CRASHER: MY BLOODY BIRTHDAY was not worth the wait, but it wasn’t all bad either. I really enjoyed the first half, but the film ran out of steam and ideas and couldn’t keep it coherent or together. I do recommend this movie, barely, but don’t go into it thinking that you will walk away understanding what’s going on.
Rating: 4.5/10
