By Geno McGahee
There was a time when the “8 FILMS TO DIE FOR” was something that got the horror masses excited. It was an event. The marketing was genius and the first 8 films selected were memorable and above the normal straight to video releases that we were accustomed to seeing. Unfortunately, as time and the series went on, it seemed to have lost its luster. They selected mediocre titles and those (like myself) foolish enough to put down 150 bucks to buy the DVD set were left disappointed. The 8 Films to Die For went away for a bit but they have re-launched and I’ve seen two of the latest acquisitions. One wasn’t worth a review and I cannot remember the name of and the other is LUMBERJACK MAN, an 80’s throwback slasher with a FRIDAY THE 13TH meets CLUB DREAD vibe.
Written and directed by Josh Bear, you can immediately see his love of the slasher sub-genre of horror. We have stupid teens ready to do some boozing and sex at a campground when they encounter a brutal killing force. That force is Lumberjack Man. Good Friends Church Camp heads up for some worship and fun, but things begin to fall apart quickly.
Doug (Adam Sessler) the supervisor of the children with the best Justin Bieber wig ever, is a stickler for the rules and offers incentives for the kids to do well. If they behave, they are going to have a pizza party. Most of the boys think that the hot chicks that are part of the group are more interesting than the pizza party. So, behaving is out.
Dr. Peter Shirtcliff (Michael Madsen) sees the school bus pass him and the girls flash him as they go. He enjoys it and then gets concerned over the legendary mad logger that haunts the area. He heads to the camp to warn the people, but they do not take him too seriously and neither do the police.
Faith (Ciara Flynn) is new to the group and is rather sharp. Outside of not being able to cook, she is street-smart enough to not fall for the games and to be able to survive the killer in the woods. Flynn is very fun in this role. She is street-smart but naïve at times and you can see how Flynn has created the character. Unlike many of the characters in this film, it appears that Flynn has really thought about who she was and how and why she responded. Her last line delivery of “You don’t know what pancakes is” is about as hilarious a delivery I’ve seen.
The 7-foot mad logger has a history which prompts him to kill. He made great pancakes and when he opened his door to a stranger, he was killed and his recipe was stolen. His soul has not rested since and he will kill just about anyone in the woods and his only weakness is maple syrup.
Shirtcliff arrives and teams up with Faith and the friendly cook, Reggie (Jarrett King), to take on the monster or at least try to survive it. The showdown takes place and we get a satisfactory ending to his 80’s throwback slasher.
LUMBERJACK MAN has its set of issues. It’s too long at 1 hour and 45 minutes and the gratuitous nude scenes come across, at times, as filler rather than a playful jab at the movies it’s spoofing. For the first 40 minutes, the film moves along quickly, but then we get into an area where it gets sort of lost. I think that there are too many ideas being crammed into this one movie and they tried to put them all into it and it was hurt by it. There is a food fight scene that was unnecessary and too long, and there were other scenes that will just have you asking yourself why. The film is able to regain its footing and focus and close the show in a good way, but some test audiences would have greatly helped this flick before its release.
The good outweighs the bad here. The Lumberjack Man is a fun character, menacing and fits the role very well. I enjoyed the characters, for the most part, and should also mention that Chase Joliet, who played Kellenberger, was very amusing. If you are fan of the 80’s slasher in the woods as I am and as filmmaker Josh Bear obviously is, then you should give this one a watch. There is a lot of heart in it but it began to forget what it wanted to be about midway through and lost the momentum. I was happy that it picked up again and I made it to the end when the HALLOWEEN II line was changed into “you don’t know what pancakes is.” I chuckle as I type this.
I recommend LUMBERJACK MAN. It may not be to die for, but it’s worth a watch. I look forward to the next flick by Josh Bear and to see if he can smooth it out a little. With a little bit of fine tuning, I’m guessing he could make a really good slasher, comedy or otherwise.
Rating: 5.5/10
