By Geno McGahee
In 2003, WRONG TURN was a major release and featured Eliza Dushku in the lead role. It was a movie made on about 12 million dollars and made a profit of 3 million and then even more on the DVD run. Four years later, WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END came out, and then, in 2009, we saw WRONG TURN 3: LEFT FOR DEAD, 2011 brought us WRONG TURN: BLOODY BEGINNINGS, 2012, we saw WRONG TURN 5: BLOODLINES, a film that was actually pretty good, and now, in 2014, WRONG TURN VI: LAST RESORT, has been released and this film, more than any other in the series, does not feel like part of the franchise. I have a sneaking suspicion that this was written to be something else and was modified to be another entry in this ongoing horror series.
WRONG TURN VI: LAST RESORT had its share of issues before release with 20th Century Fox having to recall all DVDs and Blu Rays when they were using photos of real missing people in their missing posters. Many thought that the world would never get to see this film, and perhaps we would have been better for it, but it is out and I have now sat through another one of these killer hillbilly mutant movies.
We begin with two bikers, riding through the wood and they stumble upon a hot spring and decide to bathe and have a little sex. That creepy, and always happy, mutant hillbilly, Three Finger (Radoslav Parvanov), watches on. I didn’t think that he was into that whole voyeurism thing, but he apparently is, and gets more than an eyeful. These two characters are just there to establish that the hillbillies are back and are still up to their murdering ways. Much like other WRONG TURN entries, they use the corpses of the first kills to make out part of the title. If it works, go with it…I guess.
OK, now the story…we have a large spa that is ran by Jackson (Chris Jarvis) and his sister, Sally (Sadie Katz). They seem normal and friendly and have a group of elderly guests having a good time. Unfortunately, one of the old birds grabs Jackson’s ass and he doesn’t like that very much. It turns out that Jackson is a relative of the hillbilly mutants and has the same sort of killer instinct. When he catches up with that old bird again, he takes her out and good for him. I am totally against sexual harassment and an old wrinkled up hand grabbing some poor guy’s ass is wrong, no matter what way you cut it. You can cut that grab ass ten ways to Tuesday and it’s still sexual assault and Jackson had every right to respond as he did. He’s Mr. Jackson if you’re nasty.
In the meantime, Danny (Anthony Ilott), has inherited the spa, and it’s the first good thing that has happened to him in quite a long time. He lost his job, lost a great deal of money, and even attempted suicide. Things were not going his way, but now, he’s good. His girlfriend, Toni (Aqueela Zoll), Vic (Rollo Skinner), Charlie (Harry Belcher), Bryan (Joe Gaminara), Jillian (Roxanne Pallett), and Rod (Billy Ashworth) accompany him on this long trip to his new spa. It’s apparent early on that character development would not be a priority in this film. Most of the characters are very empty. Frank H. Woodward, the writer, just didn’t get the series and wrote a film that doesn’t really click, but it’s not all bad.
Danny is in desperate need of a family connection and clicks with Jackson. He goes hunting and begins to like the idea of running the spa and continuing a family tradition that he was unaware of. Sally begins making a move on Danny and he’s not very resistant, but his girlfriend storms into the room and finds the two in a compromising position and broke it up. Despite the majority of his friends wanting to leave, Danny wants to stay and run the spa and begins talking about the reasons why he should, including a web show and a book could be written about the past. OK, they’re not good ideas, but at least he had something.
The hillbilly trio of terror, Three Finger, Saw Tooth (Danko Jordanov) and One Eye (Asen Asenov), continue to kill people and Danny’s friends go missing. His relationship with Jackson and Sally begins to consume him and he really doesn’t care where his friends went or what happened to them. Usually the main character in the film is a guy that you want to root for. This Danny guy is a real jack off.
We see a lot of T&A in this film, obviously supplementing the lack of good story and writing. Horror films are notorious for this. When in doubt, have them whip it out. Thankfully, all of the actresses in this film were incredibly attractive and as I began watching the scenes and was writing my protest letter for the gratuitous sex scenes, I quickly changed my mind. It’s their film. They have the right to have as much nudity as they want. Good for them.
(Spoiler Alert: If you care about this film, do not read any more of this review.) So, Danny is introduced to his real family, a group of mutants that look remarkably like my family. How strange. Perhaps my family could sue for theft of likeness… Anyway, at a point when you think Danny is going to tell the mutants to shove it up their hillbilly asses, he decides that the best thing to do is to become part of the family, kill his girlfriend, and have sex with Sally in front of the trio of mutant terror. OK, Three Finger, you’re voyeurism thing is going too far.
WRONG TURN VI: LAST RESORT has a great location but it didn’t belong in this series, and the writing just wasn’t there. Unfortunately, the cast was very strong and did their best with what they had to work with. I especially liked Sadie Katz. She was very fun in the role of Sally, a role that would travel into a very seductive side but would also find its way to complete madness. She was one of the highlights of this film. Credit should also be given to Chris Jarvis for his performance. He put a lot into this role and it shows, even if he wasn’t working with much. The new Three Finger, Radoslav Parvanov, didn’t have the same approach as the others, but understood the basics: always be happy. He is constantly smiling but has elected to add his own touch, and stick out his tongue in 95% of the movie. It worked.
Much like WRONG TURN V: BLOODLINES, this film has terrible makeup. Most of the hillbillies’ faces are yellow but the rest of their bodies are white. The latex prosthetics are very cheap-looking and for a movie that had a budget, it’s too bad. There are so many good special effects people out there and they obviously could not make it this day.
I have not seen every one of these films, but of those that I have seen, I would rate this the worst. The story is very unbelievable, the location was forced into the story or the story was forced into the location, the screenplay lacks character development, and the lead is unlikable. I had high hopes for this one after the last one I saw, but it was just terrible. It had a good cast with an honest effort, but they could not save it.
Before I give my final rating, I want to go down the list of my favorite hillbilly mutants from this film.
Fucked Up & Smiley
Uncomfortable & Greasy
Fangs
The Killer Trio
Rating: 2.5/10 – They did me wrong.
