By Melissa Antoinette Garza
When I was 16, I bought TUFF TURF (1985) and TAPEHEADS (1988) the same day for $1.99 each at the first video rental shop I worked at. That four bucks brought me so much joy! I still love the films and though I know I have my VHS copies somewhere, I now own them in different and easier accessible formats. I bought TUFF TURF (1985) on AMAZON awhile back and it’s currently free on YOUTUBE as well, so there’s no shortage of ways to watch this cult classic.
The film begins with new kid Morgan Hiller (James Spader) riding his bike down a street where gangbangers are robbing some perv douche. The violent leader, Nick (Paul Mones) has his girlfriend Frankie (Kim Richards) play temptress to the scummy old guy. Morgan drives by and sees the commotion. He gets Nick in the eyes with red spray-paint. Frankie is a bit taken by him, but hides it well.
Frankie’s convinced she’ll be stuck with Nick forever. He’s forcing the idea of marriage and Frankie’s dad (Lou Fant) celebrates the idea. With her mother dead, Frankie doesn’t want to disappoint.
Morgan is dealing with his own bullshit. He’s the black sheep rebel of his upper-class family. His brother Brian (Bill Beyers) comes over only long enough to chastise Morgan and defend their overbearing, pretentious mother Page (Claudette Nevins). Morgan’s dad Stuart (Matt Clark) is a bit more chill, but too passive to tell Page to shut the fuck up when necessary.
Thankfully, Morgan does find a best friend in the wild wacky Jimmy (Robert Downey Jr.). Jimmy’s brother was a gang member and so his mother makes him swear to stay out of that lifestyle. Still because of his familial connection Nick trusts him with his car when he gets detained.
Jimmy brings the car to Morgan who uses it to trick Frankie and spunky friend Ronnie (Olivia Barash) to get in the car. They jump in thinking it’s Nick, but Frankie having a thing for Jimmy drags him in the bag seat and starts sexing him up. I love Ronnie. She’s so wild and in charge of herself.
Frankie, in spite of herself, falls for Morgan. She sees the ability to get more out of life and tries to distance herself from Nick. This proves impossible as he refuses to let her go.
The rivalry reaches it’s peak when Nick kidnaps Frankie and lures Morgan into a battle that will surely end in death.
Admittedly, this is not a realistic portrayal of gang violence now or in the 80s. This is a fun and silly movie that is pure 80s gold! Most of the music is awesome, the costumes are terrific and the dance sequences are fabulous.
Just as they did later in LESS THAN ZERO (1987), James Spader and Robert Downey Jr work marvelously off one another. They are two of the finest actors of our generation. I love their work. Whether dark, campy, sexy, artistic, or crazy, I dive in with these guys every time and am never disappointed.
I can’t be the only one who ever wondered what would happen if James Ballard from CRASH (1996) ever got a fondness for fur and hooked up with Lionel Sweeney from AN IMAGINARY PORTRAIT OF DIANE ARBUS (2006). Maybe, I am the only one, but if there is a crossover I’ll be there with tickets opening day.
And then there’s Kim Richards! She is sensational. I hope one day to see her back on the big screen where she belongs. Whether as a child in her ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (1975) and RETURN TO WITCH MOUNTAIN (1978) days or rocking it out as Frankie here, she kills it. Being a child star in the 70s was no easy task and her performances always brought people so much joy.
Here, Frankie is a tough bad girl with a good soul who is desperate to be saved. She is also desperate to save Morgan and her father. Richards expresses the emotion expertly and keeps sympathy throughout, even when Frankie is being unreasonable.
The supporting cast is great and the characters are all memorable.
Pure and simple, this is a great 80s feelgood flick with a few moments raw enough to be recognized as more than just a popcorn film.
Scared Stiff Rating: 7.5/10
