By James Witherspoon
Yo, check this out. I was watching the news when I saw one of these redneck truckers lose control of their shit in Texas. YA HEARD! Highway 84 in Lubbock County had a shocker when a tractor trailer got lost in the fog and nearly took out a cop. It looked like those EBT warriors storming into Toys for Tots on Christmas Eve.
Now, I caught up with Sgt. Myles Willington of the Lubbock County Police Force and he was on the scene. He was the guy running away from that truck and he had quite a bit to say about this situation. Remember where you heard it first. YA HEARD!
“My name is Sgt. Myles Willington. I carry a badge. I’m a cop. Because my fat ex-wife has fucked me in the ass on alimony, I have to take every single extra detail I can just so I can eat, and those mother fuckers at the station won’t pay me under the table on that. So, she gets a cut of that too, while she’s sucking off our white trash neighbor. Yeah, life is great. I had a great Christmas. I sat alone talking to webcam girls.
So, there I am, standing in the fog and this trucker starts plowing my way, speeding like a bat out of hell. I hauled ass like a mother fucker. He almost hit me! That hillbilly mother fucker almost put me out for the count, but NOBODY punches my ticket. I dragged that fat, overall-wearing geek out of his tractor and you know what I found? The guy had a dog and a vat of peanut butter. I put him under arrest and now he can be the dog with Bubba.”
Thanks for your service Myles.
