The Telling (2009) – ANTHOLOGY HORROR MOVIE REVIEW

Geno

By Melissa Antoinette Garza

Horror anthologies are one of the most fun types of films in the genre.  THE MONSTER CLUB, VAULT OF HORROR, TALES FROM THE CRYPT, and ASYLUM are a few of the greatest of all time.  When I rented THE TELLING, I didn’t have high expectations.  I definitely didn’t expect stories as well-thought out as the classic anthologies.  To be honest, judging by the cover, it appeared I was going to be watching a horror /soft core porn.  Generally those are awful.  Bad acting, empty characters, and long overly-choreographed love scenes pretty much sum up the films.  Worse than that, usually at some point the viewer has the misfortune of seeing Ron Jeremy.  Though by all accounts he’s a nice guy, his mere presence makes me sick.  I can’t stand him.  I can’t stand his voice, his hair, his mustache, or his “acting.”  He just irritates me.

Happily, Ron Jeremy is nowhere to be found in this movie.  Surprisingly, The Telling actually has none of the components one would expect from the cover.  The acting is stellar, the stories are solid and the nudity is, for the most part, storyline driven.

Without question, this film was made by someone who both understood and had affection for the horror genre.  It had a Twilight Zone feel mixed with moments of tension that mimicked classic movies like BLACK CHRISTMAS and ROSEMARY’S BABY.

THE TELLING starts with the what is known as the wrap-around tale.  A college student Brianna (Najarra Townsend) is desperate to get into a popular sorority.  She begs the sisters, and is turned down and told that she should look into a ‘whore-ority” instead.  Devastated, she commits suicide.

The following year and due to the tragedy, the dean insists the sorority changes their practice of choosing sisters to something less offensive.  The women bring together three fellow students and advise that there are two open spots.  To get in, they must wow with not only the food they brought but a horror story.

Dollface: In the first tale, Lily (Rebekah Kochan) begrudgingly allows her boyfriend Tommy (Ryan Freeman) to let his ex-girlfriend Sara (Kimshelley Garner) stay in their house until she gets on her feet.  Tommy finds a doll in the trash and brings it home.  Though much more goth, the doll is very reminiscent of The Twilight Zone’s talking Tina.  She appears to be kind and says nice things.  She proclaims that she wants to be friends and that she loves them, but soon things change.  The doll becomes obsessed with Tommy and though Lily sees it, Sarah thinks she’s nuts.  Tommy agrees until it is much too late.

Though very predictable, this story is fun and paced well.  The doll is scary enough to cause chills and the timing of her dialogue and mere placement of her is done well.  For example, in the beginning while Tommy is talking the doll is simply in the background yet there is something obviously sinister about it.

Crimson Echo: The second tale follows actress Eva (Bridget Marquardt).  Eva is an actress who though once was at the top of her game, now tells her producer she’ll do anything for a cleared check.  She is hired for a horror movie in Europe.  There she meets little person Footcandle (Ed Gale) who invites her in.  The owner Victor (John D’Aquino) brings her around and introduces her to everyone.  It is quite obvious that the residents are more than a little odd.  When they start showing footage from others at the production, pictures of war and torture are shown.  It is quickly realized that there are monsters within the dwelling – and a hint of vampirism hangs in the air.

Make no mistake, this not the average vampire tale.  It’s unique in the sense that the monsters actually enjoy a level of pain and are enthralled in it.  It too has a quality reminiscent of THE TWILIGHT ZONE that goes far beyond the fact that it was filmed in black and white.  Anyone who has seen the episode of THE MASKS the tone is quite the same.  It’s fantastic.

Prank Call: The last follows three girls who stay at home because the horror movie they went to see was sold out.  Eager to do something fun, they decide to prank call people.  They call a guy and tell him that he won pizzas, but while they talking the man on the phone is murdered.  The killer picks up the phone and tells them not to do anything but they call the police nonetheless.  The killer calls again telling them that they have made an error in judgment and now he’s coming for them.

This is definitely the most thrilling tale with tension so close to what was created by the original Black Christmas.  The conclusion of the tale is surprising.

At the end of the production, the wrap-around is finished with an expected conclusion but a satisfying one nonetheless.  Though the acting was stellar all around, I would love to see Holly Madison in larger roles.  She not only is drop dead gorgeous but she has the talent to back it up.  She is an excellent actress who played the mega-bitch better than Sarah Michelle Gellar ever did in Cruel Intentions.

Overall, this was such a nice surprise.  My husband, brother and I all enjoyed it!

SCARED STIFF RATING:  8/10

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