By Geno McGahee
The 1970s was known for good disaster movies. Sure, we have disaster movies like 2012 and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, but I’m talking about good disaster movies, not complete pieces of shit. One of the best to come out of the 1970s was capsized ship epic: THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE. An all-star cast and some over the top performances make this a can’t miss, but there are certain elements that still annoy me to this day.
Reverend Scott (Gene Hackman)has a different philosophy on religions and it hasn’t gone over well with others in the field. He believes that prayer is useless and that man has to help himself. This sort of thinking will come in very handy when the disaster hits. Rogo (Ernest Borgnine) is a former cop that is married to a former hooker, Linda (Stella Stevens), and it’s an odd couple for sure. They are constantly bickering and Linda is still very self-conscious about her former occupation. We also have the grandfather from WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, Manny Rosen (Jack Albertson) and his wife, Belle (Shelly Winters). Now, I was always annoyed by many of the kids in WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, but none of them hold a candle to the little shit in this film, Robin (Eric Shea). He knows everything and keeps whining throughout the entire movie to his sister, Susan (Pamela Sue Martin). He keeps saying “you can do it sis” and “sis, it’ll be alright.” I waited and waited and that little pecker made it to the end of the film! Why was I robbed of him drowning or catching on fire? Anything!
During a New Year’s Eve party, featuring the music of Nonnie (Carol Lynley), a rogue wave slams into the ship and capsizes it. With the ship upside down, the group of people at the party must decide what to do and Scott has an idea. The plan is to climb up the ship to the top where there is a chance they could be rescued. Some disagree and wait in the party room, but they pay the price when the ocean water starts slamming in.
A small group, led by Scott now faces the terrible things that an upside down ship can produce. They are facing the water that keeps filling the ship, various fires, and the little whiny shit, Robin. The infighting is rather fierce as well as Rogo and Scott keep bumping heads. Borgnine and Hackman are tremendous actors and watching them go at it is a thing of beauty. This cast, minus Eric Shea, is tremendous. One of the characters that started out very wimpy but found inner courage was Martin (Red Buttons). He nailed it and I guess he and his love interest, Nonnie, hated each other in real life. It was a strange relationship anyway. She was too young for him, but during a disaster, why not give it a shot?
As the progress, characters start to die off and the tension gets to an all-time high between Scott and Rogo. Linda dies and Rogo starts blaming Scott and the scene is an amazing one. Borgnine’s delivery is outstanding and after he all but gives up, Martin’s speech to him about being a cop and protecting the survivors is another great movie moment in this tremendous flick. No moment may be as meaningful as when Scott gives his life to save all of the others, screaming to his God about how many people need to be sacrificed and how God was working against them.
THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE is a great disaster movie. The cast really sold the story and the special effects were very good. The makers understood human behavior and emotions and that is why this one clicks with the viewer much more than that horrible remake or the crap that they put out today. This one was meant to put you on that ship and make you think about how you would react and made you feel for the characters. You were invested in them and hoped that they would make it (not Robin). I do wonder if Jack Albertson wondered why he always got stuck with annoying children acting alongside him. First, he was put into bed with a bunch of old people…dudes too, and had to deal with Charlie and the rest of the misfits in WILLY WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, and now he had to deal with Robin. I bet Albertson punched some walls out of anger and said things like “fucking kids” and “fucking oompa loompas.” Hey, he had the right.
Rating: 8/10
It’s hard to believe that was 42 years ago. Man, the cast looks young. The song, “There’s Got to be a Morning After”, was big on the radio then. The actual singer (I can’t remember her name right off) did the vocal in the movie, and Carol Lindsey lip-synched the words. They (Irving Allen) used the actual singer in his next film, The Towering Inferno, but the song didn’t do as well.