By Geno McGahee
Jamie (Sammy Snyders) is a troubled young boy that is obsessed with sex. He is an outcast and has no friends outside of his teddy bear “teddy,” who speaks to him and advises him on all sorts of different subjects. It’s strange for a twelve year old boy to have a teddy bear but this is a strange kid that is ignored by some, harassed by others, and pitied by the rest. Even his parents are sick of him and elect to take off and leave him home in the care of a college girl, Sandy (Jeannie Elias). Why you leave a sexually obsessed 12 year old with a hot 21 year old is beyond me, but they did. I guess it’s better than leaving him with the creepy uncle. You know, it never fails. Everyone has a creepy uncle in their family. They are usually involved in the Boy Scouts somehow or constantly apply for jobs as mall Santas. If any occupation needs background checks, it’s mall Santa.
Sandy tries to mold and mentor Jamie and overcome the crush that the 12-year old has on her, but it’s an uphill battle. While she showers, he enters the bathroom and writes that he loves her in the steam on the mirror and gets a glance at her tushy, which enrages her, and rightfully so! If you had some 12 year old boy that talks to a teddy bear looking at your junk, wouldn’t you go apeshit? We also have one of the greatest nip slips in history as Jamie stares at Sandy while she is sleeping with one full booby staring him right in the face. I can only imagine what else he does to that teddy bear when nobody’s around. But this movie isn’t about nip slips and humping teddy bears. It’s about Tralalogs.
A Tralalog or “Trog” is a hairy bastard that has fangs and eats people and/or hamburger. I don’t know what they prefer but they will eat both. They don’t seem sexually obsessed, not once even getting a cheap feel on their female victims…or male victims for that matter. They live in a hole and are only surviving because of Jamie, who brings the victims their way. He gets revenge and feeds the Trogs at the same time. One of the more amusing deaths (spoiler) is when he takes an old woman in a wheelchair and rolls her to the hold and dumps her in. We all know negative elderly people, don’t we? Now, I’m not for dumping old people into Trog pits, but the negative ones…why not do it? If only the Trogs were around when my Nana was giving me shit. She would have been Trog food for sure!
After a tragic accident (spoiler) where Sandy falls into the pit, Jamie makes the decision that he can no longer feed the Trogs and opts to lower a rope and allow them to crawl out and raise hell. The monsters in this film are pretty neat looking and amusing as they climb the ropes and attack people. I actually enjoy this movie from start to finish.
THE PIT is a decent film that I recommend, especially if you enjoy seeing elderly people pushed out of wheelchairs. The acting is good and the ending of the film is decent, no matter how unrealistic it is. I recommend this.
Scared Stiff Rating: 6/10. It’s not the Pits.
