By Melissa Antoinette Garza
THE BODY BENEATH (1970) starts off with Anna Ford (Susan Clark) placing flowers on her mother’s grave at a cemetery right before closing. Three blue-faced fem-vamps attack her on the way out. The vampires in this flick dislike sun, but it’s not a rule-breaker and they can go out in it.
Immediately, after Rev. Alexander Algernon Ford (Gavin Reed) and his wife Alicia Ford (Susan Heard) go to the front door of the house and introduce themselves to the owner Graham Ford (Colin Gordon). The Rev informs Graham that they are related and he is there because he and his wife saw in the papers that Graham had arrived in London. In reality, they are related but Alex has been alive for many generations. He and his group are all vampires and they have taken over an estate in London.
He tells Graham that he only wanted to stop in because they were family. They invite him and his wife Anna (Susan Clark) to dinner the following Saturday and Graham accepts though does say he’ll have to check with his wife. For 1970, that’s pretty progressive. Good boy!
Things gets a bit bizarre when the Rev knows a little too much family history. He comments on how Graham’s relations to them comes from his mother. Graham didn’t know his father and therefore opted to take his mom’s maiden name. Odder still is when Alex discusses horoscopes and comments that Graham is a Pisces and Anna is a Virgo. Now, I was dragged to many a church in my day. Every Holy Man I encountered hated anything remotely astrological or occult in nature. I want to go to Alex’s church. Sign me up for Vamp Camp!
Rev. Ford goes on to discuss how their lineage travels back to Roman Times and 98 BC. Considering Ancestry.com wasn’t a thing back then, he gets an A+ for his Family Tree report. Lastly, he tells Graham that he’s going to be opening a church. It is around that time, that Graham notices Anna hasn’t returned yet. He finds it strange because she’s always on time. On their way out, a tattered and very much out-of-it Anna returns.
Meanwhile, a maid assists Candace Ford (Emma Jones) readying for a date when Spool (Berwick Kaler) arrives as a delivery man.Spool is my favorite character. He’s got a hunchback, short blonde hair and a small wool hat upon his head. He brought a corsage for Candace and hands it over to the maid who becomes entranced by a fem vamp that snuck in the house. Hypnotized, the house servant brings up the flower and Candace is pricked on the finger. Unbeknownst to Candace who heads out on a date, the maid puts the blood on a small piece of glass and then gives it to Spool and the fem vamp outside.
Next, Susan Ford (Jackie Skarvellis) arrives for a meeting with Rev. Ford. This is the first time she’s meeting her family as well. She received a letter from Alex. While waiting for him, Spool runs around Susan laughing without reason. I think he has a crush!
When the Rev does arrive, Susan doesn’t say anything but instead asks Alex to officiate her upcoming nuptials. (Poor Spool!) Like Graham, she isn’t aware that her new-found family are vamps. Alex agrees to handle the ceremony and then immediately drugs her with a toast of blood they claim is tomato juice.
She passes out and Spool takes her upstairs. When she wakes, the hunchbacked gent brings her food and insists she eats. He tries not to spark a convo because he knows if he talks to her that the Rev Vamp will beat him. Susan plays nice and tries to get him to help. She asks him to be her friend when the trio of lady-vamps come in to attack. Before they can, Alex comes in and kicks everyone including poor Spool out.
Alex tells Susan that she needs her to preserve the Ford bloodline. He wishes to turn her and have her give him children. She passes out and he initiates phase one. The next day when Susan doesn’t arrive home, her fiance Paul Donati (Richmond Ross) comes by looking for her. The Rev’s maid lies and says that Susan left, but starts asking the Rev too many questions. Alex doesn’t take it well. He calls her a slut and fires her. Paul’s inquiries aren’t any better as he asks to come inside to see if Alicia may know something. He opens his cigarette compact and notices that the Rev doesn’t have a reflection. He escapes and teams up with the fired maid to find Susan.
Back at Graham’s, he begins to notice something is awry with Anna. She’s ice cold and is suddenly a night owl obsessed with the moon. Anna, not a full Vamp Goddess, is at the command of the evil Rev. She lets him and his harem of fem-vamps saunter in and get bloody crazy with Graham.
Next on the list to secure is Candace who is kidnapped and brought to Alex. The Rev is serious about family reunions! RSVPing no is not an option. Alex tells Candace that he tested her blood count and they need to harvest her supply for transfusions. He says they’ll do their best to keep her comfortable and in 6 months if she behaves herself they’ll give her immortality. I got to say for all the times I’ve given blood, the RED CROSS never offered me immortality. There’s also a large plot-point concerning the Rev’s addiction and/or illness related to the way in which his body reacts to blood. He needs much more than any other vamp to keep going and his blood pressure becomes unregulated.
My favorite scene is between Candace and Spool as she gets him to talk about his childhood, the abuse he endured and how he got with the wild bunch. He’s such a likable character. I so want someone to end up with him. He needs a sexy fem-queen that has enough care to protect him and enough assertive flare to build his ego up. I think Candace could’ve been that gal. She was even going to get him to a doctor to remove his hump. She’s so genuinely sympathetic toward him. He needs someone to want him and she could. She’s gentle with him, but she asks him to help her escape. Why must these women always put these poor gents in such precarious situations? Just stay, give them your blood, became an eventual vamp, turn Spool and live out eternity with him. Why is that so hard? God, how I love my misfit toys!
The movie comes together in a surreal feast of indulgence and insanity where Alex delivers some intensely wild (and at times, nonsensical) dialogue. The whole event is dark, mysterious and by far the rawest moment within the film yet it is surrounded by the Rev offering a defense of his actions, conducting a family vote, ordering a murder and discussing a move to the United States. To say that it’s manically bizarre is an understatement.
The few who have seen this and reviewed it, never seem to give it any level of appreciation. Admittedly, it’s very tame. There’s no nudity and only hints at sex, but it’s still a kick-ass and original vamp tale. The fems look great in their make-up which due to the budget constraints is quite a feat. The acting and cast both did a great job. I really don’t get the hate on this one. In some ways, it’s a slow burn I suppose, but it’s an interesting watch throughout. It’s fascinating, weird and evident that much thought and love was put into it.
Currently, it’s both on YOUTUBE and AMAZON PRIME. I suggest it. It’s not horrifying but there are some creep factors. The Rev brings a great deal of camp throughout and Spool is marvelous! It’s certainly not for everyone, but just the same – it’s definitely for me!
Scared Stiff Rating: 6.5/10
