By Melissa Antoinette Garza
One common trend in horror films is to take place during the Christmas holiday. Sometimes this setting helps create a creepy atmosphere, chilling moments and an entertaining premise. Other times, the entire movie is a mess that is awful, boring, and nonsensical.
In the spirit of Christmas we will celebrate the best of holiday horror. As for the worst, we’ll do our best to find something nice to say about it.
SANTA’S NICE LIST
Tales From The Crypt: All Through The House
UK anthologies released in the 1970s were usually fantastic. This was no exception. The beautiful and extremely talented Joan Collins stars as Joanne. She has grown tired of her husband Richard (Martin Boddey). She decides to kill him.
On the radio she hears that a psychopath dressed like Santa Claus (Oliver MacGreevy) is on the loose and in the area. She locks the doors and begins to clean up the mess. Soon, Santa shows up at the house and tries to come in. Joanne panics but realizes calling the police is out of the question. She does everything she can to protect herself.
Spoiler: Joanne’s young daughter Carol (Chloe Franks), excited to see Santa lets him in.
Something Nice: This is one of my favorite holiday scares. It’s creepy, has a moral, and is interesting to watch the lead character in such a dilemma. She could have protected her daughter by sacrificing herself had she called the cops, but she opted not to. Now one must assume that she has not only allowed herself to be murdered but Carol also has to pay the price. Of course, another perk is to see the sensational Ms. Collins. It’s great to see her in anything!
SANTA’S NAUGHTY LIST
Jaws 4: The Revenge
It’s Christmas in the Bahamas and the Brody family have been very naughty….at least according to the
telepathic vengeful shark who stalks and follows them. See, in the original classic, father Brody (Roy Scheider) killed a shark who was murdering innocent folks on the beach. In the sequel, he killed another shark. The fourth film ignores the third which was in 3D and quite a fun mess in its own right.
This one however has a shark that follows mother Brody (Lorraine Gray) from New Jersey to the West Indies. Despite the water being much too warm for a shark, which is mentioned in the movie, the fish travels there. Why? Well, because he is upset that the other sharks were murdered. So, he used his telepathic skills to seek out the Brody clan and planned his attack.
The movie is just nonsensical and stupid. There are so many plot holes and moronic decisions by the characters that one needs to just laugh throughout. . The plot is ridiculous, the acting is atrocious and the special effects are awful.
Something Nice: I actually gave the movie a positive review and recommended it because it is so bad that it’s good. It’s one of my favorite bad movies. Despite all of its technical flaws and obvious bad writing, it’s a holiday classic in my home.
SANTA’S NICE LIST
Black Christmas (1974)
Did you ask Santa to be terrified for Christmas? If so, this is the movie for you! My brother and I first watched this about 10 years ago. We had heard that it is the film that inspired Halloween which was originally intended to be a sequel to this.
Another factor that made this a must-see was Bob Clark was involved. He directed this film, Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1973) and A Christmas Story (1983). Many consider the latter a Christmas classic. For my family, Black Christmas is a much more popular holiday tradition.
The premise is simple. A bunch of sorority girls are slaughtered by someone who prank calls them. The plot has been done 100 times and in a 100 different ways, but it’s never been done better. The atmosphere and pace is amazing. It’s so powerful that at the end one just wants it to be over. Finding out who the killer is becomes irrelevant as the apprehension builds in the viewer.
Something Nice: This is a brilliant slasher with a conclusion that fits the overall production. It’s a must-see…just don’t see it alone!
SANTA’S NAUGHTY LIST
Black Christmas (2006)
The original utilized a very basic story but made it a heart-pounding thriller. The remake took everything
that the ‘74 version did right and did the exact opposite. There wasn’t any pace or atmosphere. The murderer was known. His back story was known which killed any mystery. For some reason they brought mutants and incest into the film. Neither of which added anything to the film.
It doesn’t get worse than this. It’s a bastardized copy which should have never been made.
Something Nice: The only nice thing to say is that it created a stir and renewed interest around the original and younger horror fans with good taste was able to watch the ‘74 version and see what horror should be.
SANTA’S NICE LIST
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
Any horror fan is very familiar with this film. A maniac who witnessed his parents butchered by someone dressed like Santa Claus grows up and becomes a murdering Santa Claus.
It was censored and banned by idiots who didn’t want Santa viewed in a negative light. Thankfully, it was eventually released. Of course, like most horror films, it was panned by Siskel and Ebert (like nearly every great film). Those idiots should have never been allowed to review the genre. They didn’t understand it or like it. They couldn’t judge it fairly.
A horror film needs to be looked at in a different way than most movies. Judging it the way one would a drama or a black and white French romance (which Siskel and Ebert always adored) is simply unfair.
For horror atmosphere, intensity, originality, and entertainment value are the basics. Silent Night, Deadly Night does well utilizing all of those elements.
Something Nice: It’s another holiday classic to be enjoyed by the adults in the household. Those who wanted this movie banned didn’t understand it wasn’t to be enjoyed by children. This was a movie for mature audiences. A killer Santa Claus, when done right is absolutely awesome.
SANTA’S NAUGHTY LIST
Silent Night (2012)
Sadly, little thought was put into this remake of Silent Night Deadly Night. The premise is basically the same and there were definitely some throwbacks to the original, but it just didn’t deliver.
There was zero atmosphere and the no intensity. They changed the premise slightly by making it a whodunit, but the production was so bad that the audience is left not caring who it is. The conclusion doesn’t pay off at all.
Something Nice: Malcolm McDowell is in it and he is awesome.
SANTA’S NICE LIST
Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972)
This is a more obscure Christmas movie which is currently public domain. I would love to see this remastered as it is extremely underrated.
The movie opens with Wilford Butler(Phillip Burns)who has a very rough Christmas. On Xmas Eve, he returns to his house which has been turned into an asylum. That night, he is murdered but the death is declared an accident.
The institution is closed down. Wilford’s grandson Jeffrey (James Patterson) inherits the home. He just wants to sell the place but he finds out the task is harder than he thought. The locals try to keep people away from the home. Meanwhile, a serial killer escapes and hides out in the home. He begins to terrorize everyone who comes close.
There is a twist ending which is both surprising and very well done. There are a few parallels between this movie and Ghost Story (1981) which is another great production.
Something Nice: This is definitely one to seek out. As its public domain, it’s a very cheap buy. Creepster TV members can view it for free as can Amazon Prime Members.
SANTA’S NAUGHTY LIST
Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
The issue with this film is that it was basically just continuous flashbacks of the original. It sort of reminds
me of The Hills Have Eyes 2 (1984). It has some humorous and memorable scenes but it was just a very lazy production. A watchable slasher movie isn’t the most difficult to make. It sucks when one is released which was meant merely to capitalize on the original and make some money.
Something Nice: The scene where Ricky (Eric Freeman) yells “garbage day” has brought much joy to many horror fans. Those who don’t know or haven’t seen it, just type in “garbage day, silent night deadly night” to youtube and watch a few of the videos. The scene is pretty hilarious.
SANTA’S NICE LIST
P2 (2007)
Alexandre Aja gets horror. I absolutely love his work. He has written High Tension (2003), Mirrors (2006), The Hills Have Eyes (2008) and P2.
P2 is a thriller which is part Psycho (1960) and part Fatal Attraction (1987). Thomas (Wes Bentley) is obsessed with Angela (Rachel Nichols). Leaving work on Christmas Eve, Angela attempts to leave. However, she is trapped as the parking garage is locked. Soon, she realizes that Thomas is a psychopath who is in love with her and has been secretly stalking her for a long time.
She attempts to evade him and escape. The suspense is fantastic and it’s most definitely an atmospheric film.
Something Nice: You can’t go wrong with Aja. He’s amazing!
SANTA’S NAUGHTY LIST
Jack Frost (1997)
I know…I know. Some people LOVE this movie. My cousin Neil (who is buying his first house – Congratulations to him!) is one of them. I remember years ago, he brought it over to watch and at the time it was one of the strangest things I had ever seen.
Essentially, Jack Frost (Scott MacDonald) is a very bad man. He’s a serial killer who is about to be executed, but as he is being brought to his death, the truck he is in crashes with a genetics truck. His body combines with the snow on the ground and though he is presumed dead, he actually becomes a killer Snowman.
I generally like cult movies, but to me this is one that just tried too hard.
Something Nice: It does have it moments and is probably worth watching once.
SANTA’S NICE LIST
Dead End (2003)
I’m surprised this came out so long ago. Time goes by too quickly. I remember I was able to take this out a week prior to it coming out on DVD. I worked at Blockbuster (horrible job). I expected it to be awful. I was so pleasantly surprised.
A bickering family is on their way to Christmas Eve. Frank (Ray Wise) almost kills his family in an accident because he fell asleep at the wheel. When he awakes he decides to take a shortcut much to the dismay of his wife Laura (Lin Shaye). Soon, they encounter a woman dressed all in white holding a dead baby and a long black hearse which carries each victim away.
The suspense in this film is amazing. It’s a top-notch thriller. The entire cast is fantastic. The wonderful Lin Shaye is always amazing. She adds so much to the production as she always does.
Something Nice: This is definitely one that deserves to be a holiday tradition. Once the kiddies are in bed, throw in this thriller.
A Christmas and New Year’s Message:
There are so many more great Christmas Horror films. Child’s Play (1988), Gremlins (1984), Santa’s Slay (2005), Don’t Open Til Christmas (1984), etc. Horror movies and holidays go hand-in-hand.
In fact, I may be bringing in the New Year with New Year’s Evil (1980). Of course, first I’ll be watching 1980s wedding bands on our local public access channel. It’s a tradition. Me, my husband, sister-n-law, mother, and a few friends all get together with my brother and watch this horrible New Year’s special that they put on every year. Now, don’t get me wrong. It isn’t filmed every year. The same exact program has been shown. It was filmed about 20 years ago. There’s this very strange man on a very bright sunny day sitting in a swimming pool. As it approaches midnight, his teenage son comes out and dives into the swimming pool doing different basic dives (cannonballs, etc.) as they count down to New Year’s. In between this they show horrible music with old wedding bands doing tragic renditions of power ballads. Talk about horror! We found it about 10 years ago and watched it every year except one when our public access channel was having difficulties. It’s something we always look forward to and talk about all year long. Ryan Seacrest can’t top that!
Anyways, I wish everyone a sincere Merry Christmas and a magnificent Happy New Year!
AND FOR THE HORROR FAN THAT HAS SEEN EVERYTHING, PICK THESE UP FOR A BLOODY GOOD CHRISTMAS
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