Reviewed by Geno McGahee
“Come with me if you want to live.” – Sperminator (Arnold Schwarzegger)
I can’t believe that there are now four TERMINATOR movies, but I think that most fans look at the first two as the best of the best. The first entry was a great film. I have always loved movies that involve time travel and the idea of sending back an assassin to kill the mother of your enemy to erase their existence is a great base for a movie and is part of the reason why the original of this series is still the most popular. Seven years after the first, TERMINATOR 2: JUDGMENT DAY was released. In those seven years, Arnold Schwarzenegger had become a major star, perhaps the biggest star in the world. In between films, he scored box office successes: COMMANDO, RAW DEAL, PREDATOR, THE RUNNING MAN, RED HEAT, TWINS, TOTAL RECALL, and KINDERGARTEN COP, making the anticipation of this sequel to the movie that launched him very high. I was one of the first ones in line to see this film and I was not disappointed.
We begin with John Connor (Edward Furlong), a rebellious teen living with foster parents after his mother was locked away for being batty. His mother, of course, is Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), the woman that defeated the original Terminator, but her story of the cyborg from the future and the government’s interest in the technology of the remains of the robot led to her imprisonment. The government always takes the evidence when it comes to that sort of stuff. Connor got screwed in this deal for sure. She is now considered crazy and the psychiatrist, Dr. Silberman (Earl Boen), keeps her locked up. He just doesn’t buy the story of the robot from the future. Now Silberman was there in 1984 when the Terminator killed all of the police force and didn’t budge when they returned fire, but this guy still doesn’t buy it. What does he need, a cyborg fucking him in the ass before he believes it? Hey, there’s an idea. TERMINATOR 5: THE CYBORG RAPIST. Sarah Connor’s great grandchild sends back a terminator to rape Dr. Silberman for all the shit he put her through. What a great idea!
Two Terminators are sent back in time in this sequel. We have Terminator #1 (Schwarzenegger), a cyborg reprogrammed by John Connor in the future to protect his own ass, and the T-1000 (Robert Patrick) an advanced Terminator that can take the form of anything and is made of liquid metal. He immediately takes form of a police officer, making it easier for him to get assistance from people to find young John Connor. When he finds him at the mall in an arcade, it’s on, and that’s when the Sperminator (I’ll call Arnold’s cyborg that to avoid confusion, since there are two of them floating around) comes into play. As the T-1000 pounces, the Sperminator protects John and they flee together, which finally convinces the youngster that his mom wasn’t full of shit.
I have to give Robert Patrick credit. His portrayal of the T-1000 is just outstanding. He is emotionless and the guy can run! They didn’t need special effects here. They didn’t speed up the film. Patrick can run at least 60 MPH, as proven when he chases down a motorcycle, losing it only when it exceeded 60 MPH. Maybe Robert Patrick is a real cyborg. How else can you explain his speed?
Of course, as in all film, you have the expendable characters. Security guards and truck drivers never last long in movies like this. When the Sperminator is ordered by John to rescue Sarah from the nuthouse, he shoots the security guard in both legs after a vow not to kill anyone, but the guy makes what, 6 bucks an hour? Now he’s probably permanently disabled, but at least he is still alive. The fat security guard (and all security guards are fat in movies) gets totaled by the T-1000, which didn’t seem necessary. Why can’t they let the minimum wage security guard live? Truck drivers aren’t always killed. Sometimes they are just thrown out of their vehicles while they are moving and suffer a broken bone or two, but security guards are always murdered. I wonder what would happen to a security guard driving a truck.
The T-1000 will do anything to kill John, but he has the Sperminator and now Sarah in his corner. Sarah has become a survivalist. When she wasn’t locked up, she learned what she could about firearms and survival, and it comes in handy when dealing with the T-1000. As the trio hangs together and tries to avoid the liquid metal prick, they begin to click and learn about each other. Sarah and John reconnect and make up for lost time, while the Sperminator learns new slang from John, which is amusing. Arnold is always amusing when he swears or says something that is “cool” at the time. Furlong is very annoying as John Connor, but this movie is so good, you can overlook it.
On top of surviving, the trio attempts to stop the government from building on the technology that they found after the first Terminator was defeated, in a hope to prevent the destruction of the future. The attempt put them right into the path of the T-1000 and a final showdown is eminent, and explosive. It’s nice to see that a big budget movie can combine great special effects with a tight script. You get the sizzle and the steak.
Most sequels suck and really pale in comparison to the original, but this is an exception. This movie is equally as good as the first. It’s a different sort of film…lost some of the edge, but makes up for it with the fun factor. I highly recommend it.
Scared Stiff Rating: 8/10. Sperminator does it again.
