By Geno McGahee
In 1989, Hulk Hogan took a stab at becoming an action star with the underrated NO HOLDS BARRED. It basically bombed, but it was just released at a very bad time. The same month that film came out, BATMAN, GHOSTBUSTERS 2, KARATE KID III and DEAD POET’S SOCIETY were also released. BATMAN was unstoppable and Hulk Hogan’s hope to be the next big thing fizzled, but he wasn’t done yet.
In 1991, Hogan would return with a film that felt like it would have been a Schwarzenegger film for that time considering the levity and action elements and there was a good reason for it. This film was intended for Arnie and Danny Devito, but they shot it down to do TWINS and it fell into the lap of Hogan and Christopher Lloyd.
Shep (Hogan) is a space warrior, protecting the galaxy from bad guys, but he’s spent and needs some time off. He crash lands on Earth and is stuck there for six weeks while his ship recharges and has to make the most of it. Charlie (Lloyd) is an architect and total wimp, never sticking up for himself. When his wife pushes him to go and demand a raise, he can’t do it. To earn some extra money, Charlie’s wife, Jenny (Shelly Duvall), turns the shed into an apartment and puts it out for rent. Shep finds the sign and now they have the Hulkster alien living with them.
As I watch Hogan in this role, I could totally see Arnie in it and he would have been much better, but the Hulkamania is running pretty wild and he does well with a lot of the humor in this. Shep’s natural inclination to help people mixed with the confusion he’s dealing with on earth make for a lot of funny moments. I actually laughed out loud a few times. When he’s at the fruit stand and an old lady is telling him that the softer cantaloupes are the best ones. He squeezes one and it explodes in her face and he is proud and says “I found a good one.” It was hilarious.
When Shep saves Charlie’s young son, he basically becomes family but there is still a lot of mystery about him. Curiosity gets the best of Charlie and he finds Shep’s ship and starts messing around with his stuff, but it sends out a signal and brings two bounty hunters to earth to kill Shep and bring his body to the evil Suitor (William Ball).
One of the bounty hunters was the Undertaker. That was rather cool. This must have been during his WCW days when he was part of the skyscrapers, but probably paved the way for him to come to the WWF and become the dead man. Despite the lack of time on screen here, the Undertaker was really funny with his expressions.
As Charlie hangs out with Shep, he starts to become tougher and begins to see things clearer. It reminded me of HOUSEGUEST with Sinbad and Phil Hartman and the transition that Hartman’s character made from wimp to assertive and tough. When Suitor, himself, comes down to earth to kill Shep, Charlie shows up to help his friend and does rather well, even grabbing Suitor by the nuts. Unfortunately, grabbing an evil guy from another galaxy by the nuts is the worst thing you can do and he shows his true form. He turns into a huge lizard alien that does a lot of the moves that Zeus did in NO HOLDS BARRED. He did that double smash thing with his wrists to Hogan and then rejoiced. He actually rejoiced a lot during this finale of the film. I keep thinking that if he didn’t celebrate as much, he may have actually got the best of Shep and Charlie.
SUBURBAN COMMANDO is a really good and entertaining film. Hogan showed that he can mix humor and action and do it well if directed well and is given the right material. I also love that this film spawned the phrase “I was frozen today!” I use it all the time during the winter. What a contribution this film made.
I highly recommend this. Unfortunately, this film lost money and that was strike two for the Hulkster. Unlike NO HOLDS BARRED, he had no excuse here. COOL AS ICE and CURLY SUE were the competition. Why didn’t this hit hard. At least it made 8 times as much as COOL AS ICE. That’s something, right?
