By Geno McGahee
I love anthologies, for the most part. There is usually something within the 90 or so minutes that is watchable and there is at least one tale that you’ll enjoy. SINISTER VISIONS is an anthology released by Chemical Burn, and it’s actually quite good. I’m not even talking about Chemical Burn standards here. This anthology is actually enjoyable.
The first tale is called “SUCCUBUS” and it reminded me a lot of the tale in the original V/H/S, with the “I like you” monster girl. This one features an Indiana Jones-type of girl that stumbles across an item that breaks open and possesses her, turning her into a succubus. She now is on the hunt for men to sex up and kill and as simple as this story may be, it is actually very well shot and fun. The demon’s look at the end is respectable and the acting is rather good across the board. I would rate this tale a 7/10.
NOTLD is a zombie tale with a scientist and his partner held up in hopes of living through the invasion, and it’s a comedic look. Amazingly, it’s actually pretty funny. The assistant to the scientist accidentally shoots him and then starts screaming and pointing and then looks at the camera and screams in the HOME ALONE pose. I was laughing aloud with this one. I really thought it was funny, even thought it was as simple and as straight forward as the first. Rating: 6/10.
HOLDCARE is an advertisement for a device to control a loved one if they should turn into a zombie. We began with a couple holding hands and the guy turns into a zombie and tries to attack and then the host steps in and says “has this ever happened to you?” The woman later testifies that the device is wonderful and the same amusing host steps in and says “that’s a satisfied customer if I ever saw one!” It was very short but very funny. Rating: 7/10.
MY UNDEAD GIRLFRIEND is just what it sounds like. A guy wakes up next to his girlfriend and she is now a zombie, but he still wants to get married to her and has to convince the parents of the bride to be that she’s fine. He invites a friend over and they doll her up, using make up and sunglasses and then drugging her. He can’t control her completely and she actually eats her dad’s rabbit and has this ridiculous smile with blood all over her teeth. This tale was pretty clever and the dialogue was quite good. The ending features a wedding photo album that is very funny. I really liked this tale: 7.5/10.
MOTHER KNOWS BEST is homage to PSYCHO in a lot of ways. We have a guy trying to connect with a woman but his interfering mother is hitting him with nothing but negativity. She thinks that all women are whores and that the one he is meeting that night is just like the rest of them. This tale is rather predictable…almost too predictable. The light that they used to light the mother made it obvious that she was a ghost or just a figment of his imagination. Even though you would probably have figured it out, they didn’t have to point to it. When the girl gets locked in the house, the secret is revealed, and the mother’s dead body is shown. Despite its problems, this was pretty good too. I enjoyed it. Rating: 6/10.
A WOMAN SCORNED is about an escaped mental patient that kidnaps her ex boyfriend’s current girlfriend and tortures her…doing the same thing to her ex as well. This was about as empty as it gets. Other tales would fall under the category of “simple” but this one is just too simple and the dialogue is not strong enough to carry the viewer through. After several very good tales, we were bound for a bad one. This one is a mediocrity at best. Rating: 2/10.
They saved the absolute worst for last with GENITAL GENOCIDE, featuring some morbidly obese slob getting prepared for execution. It was gory and stupid and I was happy to get this one over with. I think that they must have ran out of tales and needed some filler and had this tale collecting dust and just threw it in there to make the 90 minute mark. There was nothing salvageable about this tale. It was horrid. Rating: 0.5/10.
Let’s figure this out. 7+6+7+7.5+6+2+.05 = 36/70, equaling a rating, roughly of 5/10. If you cut off the last two tales, the movie is pretty fun. I recommend it.
