By Melissa Antoinette Garza
SATAN’S CHILDREN (1975) is like I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1972) was mixed with SATAN’S SLAVE (1976), but with a male lead who doubles as both a protagonist and antagonist.
Bobby (Stephen White) is tortured, bullied and abused everywhere he goes. His stepsister Janis (Joyce Molloy) keeps revving him up only to frustrate and tease him. She exposes his pot use to his asshole stepfather (Eldon Mecham).
Feeling helpless, he runs and at a local diner is approached by a skeevy old dude (Harry Williams) who is obviously hitting on him. Another younger guy comes over seemingly to save him. Bobby desperate for any positive attention goes on a motorcycle ride with him back to his place. Sadly, he’s a predator and repeatedly rapes Bobby.. He then take Bobby in a car with three other scumbags who take turns assaulting him. It’s definitely a difficult watch. It’s far less gratuitous and far shorter than I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, but is still disturbing as hell.
Thankfully, the next day a Satanic cult finds him abandoned in the park. They take pity on him and turn to Sherry (Kathleen Marie Archer) for guidance. Sherry takes an instant liking to him and within a day falls in love.
Here things get uncomfortable and weird. These Satanists won’t accept homosexuals and because they find Bobby in the condition he was in, they assume he may be gay. They also consider that he could have been raped, but they dislike victims too.
Sherry’s father Simon (Rober C. Ray II) is the leader of the cult. Though away, he has strict guidelines and some think Bobby wouldn’t be a good fit for the clan.
Call me old fashioned, but I always love to think of black magic Satanic Cults as wonderful places where men and women can have fantastical orgies with one another. Don’t take away my man-on-man on Satan action. I need that in my life!
Thankfully, the character that delivers this absurd news is divine. He’s animated and purposefully playing his flamboyance up. He’s also very sexy. He’s got the shape of Richard O’Brien’s beautiful midsection, shaggy light brown hair, killer tight black clothes and biting sarcastic wit. Anyone who reminds me of O’Brien in any way shape or form instantly has me in their pocket so as nasty as the things he said were, I’m sort of #TeamJoshua. Still, I do feel genuinely badly for Bobby. Sadly, Bobby is just a little too Danny Bonaduce for my tastes and most often my libido calls who I root for. I’m not proud of that fact, but not ashamed enough to deny it.
Joshua and friends go to a black mass where they deliver some of the worst black prayer dialogue in history, but it’s amazing and I love it. It reminds me of the scene in THE BURBS (1989) where Ray (Tom Hanks) is dreaming of a satanic cult and they chant, “Satan is our friend. Satan is our pal.” That’s actually a tad bit deeper than what Joshua was saying, but Joshua definitely looks better saying it – so yep, still team Joshua.
Joshua prays to a sculptured head of Baphomet to preserve the cult, but to get rid of Sherry and Bobby. That doesn’t go too well for Joshua when Sherry finds out.
Sherry and Bobby make love until they’re interrupted. Sherry is told Simon wants to see her. Simon is angry at Sherry’s murderous tendencies, but she swears that she’s in love with Bobby and so Simon says she better hope he loves her to.
One of my favorite scenes is when Simon shows up and does a weird trial accusing Monica of being a lesbian. The procedural information prior to prayer is read like court documents and it just strikes me as hilarious. Kudos to Robert C Ray II for a magnificent read of those ridiculous lines.
As much as I love this scene it still strikes me as bizarre that Monica is brought in and asked about being gay. I don’t get how this Satan works. What’s next? Is Satan going to be pro-censorship, against premarital sex, anti-drugs and hate rock-n-roll? Satan is supposed to be about freedom and indulgence – not restrictions and rules. Why did the devil vajay-block me on seeing lesbians? I thought he and I were cool.
Some may have issues with the conclusion, I don’t. I think it’s fitting. I don’t think it’s very brutal, but it’s raw enough for this size budget and the final scene is awesome. I almost think it’s a happy ending in this strange crazy world Bobby is living in.
I’m still angry at Sherry about Joshua though. She went too far. She should have at least let him have sex with a few people first. I deserve that ..um – I mean, he deserves that. Yes, that’s what I meant.
This is free on YOUTUBE right now and it’s the only place I can locate it so enjoy.
Scared Stiff Rating: 6.5/10
