By James Witherspoon
Y’all check out the new Christmas ad where the dude gets his hot wife that bike from Peloton and now you have all these fatties out there pissed off that they’re fat pigs and these hot chicks have bikes. Really? Really? YA HEARD!
These soy boy, cellar-dwellar, EBT-toting, toys for tots-applying human slime are looking for shit to fill their boring jobless lives. They go after a company that is trying to take these porkers and get them moving. I loved the ad. I loved the actress they got in that thing. She was smoking hot. She wasn’t one of these fat pigs that you see on the street protesting. Get your fat ass home. YA HEARD!
Now I’m gonna buy my lady friend a Peloton bike just because I’m gonna support sanity. I’m not supporting these fat slob bitches. No way. No how.
I caught up with my boy, Marcelo Rossi, the priest that was shoved off the stage by some fat slob pig that didn’t like how he put them on blast. He had the following to say:
“James, God bless you. Now, that’s out of the way. Let me say this. Fat bitches need to shut up. Gluttony is a sin! Sin is ugly and god does not want some fat porker sitting on his cloud up in heaven and falling through the cloud because their fat fucking ass is too heavy. Heaven help us. Fat women are the most miserable people in the world. The soy boys too. God created MEN, not cellar dwellars that don’t work and jack off all day. James, buy me one of those bikes. I’m going to put tractor trailer shocks on it and give it to one of those porkers in my congregation.”
Thank you padre.
(Comments may not be those of Marcelo Rossi.)
