By Melissa Antoinette Garza
Today, I hung out with my best friend of 18 years. We’ve been chilling ever since we worked at Blockbuster, back in the day. Our equally stellar taste in films, music, art and our similar levels of insanity bonded us in an eternal friendship. She truly is my sister from another mister and I love her more than life. When the trailer from ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD (2019) came out, I knew I had to go see that with her and I’m damn glad I did. This flick was phenomenal.
I love the 60s. I love the vibe, the tunes, the clothing and the chill of the counterculture. Everything about it speaks to me and always has. My best friend is the same way. We were born at the wrong time, but we continue to rock it like it was yesteryear.
More often than not, when a film tries to recapture the essence of a specific timeframe, they fail. They may have the look, but the tone, atmosphere and attitude are just wrong. They either are too afraid to show the aspects of that time which are no longer considered acceptable or hit the viewer like a hammer to the head with it.
For example, if a movie is about racism in the 60s, slurs will be thrown around in every scene as if the only conversations people had during that time were to declare themselves as hateful bigots. The other option tends to be having every protagonist in the production have a mindset that matches today social norms which often comes across as a cop-out to appease the crybaby demographic.
ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD was different. While watching, I felt like it was 1969. Tarantino fucking nailed it. Now, I’m not always pro-Tarantino. He pisses me off. I’ve criticized him as much as I’ve praised him. He steals, but he tends to steal well. He can browbeat a point home, but his fan base doesn’t love him for his subtlety, so I’m sort of on the fence most of the time. That said, it’s impossible not give him a standing o’ for this masterpiece.
The flick follows Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio). Rick had been riding high on a TV show reminiscent of BRONCO (1958) and BONANZA (1959) when he opted to move on and pursue a film career. It didn’t take off the way he wanted to and he begrudgingly accepts roles in some Spaghetti Westerns.
His stunt double Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt) is his best friend and watches out for him. Rick is a bit bipolar and has serious highs and then collapses into episodes of self-doubt and regret. He feels older than his years, but Hollywood has a tendency to do that to those who dare enter the acting profession.
Cliff on the other hand is chill as fuck. He handles everyone and everything with ease. That said, you don’t want to mess with him. He’s a tough motherfucker for real and can throw down as quickly as he can flash a smile.
Next door to Dalton lives the lovely and sweet Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie) who rocks out to Paul Revere & the Raiders while looking dynamite in every outfit she wears. She’s adorable in every conceivable way and untainted by her surroundings. She has no ego and gets a kick that people in the theater enjoyed her performance. RAWR RAWR Margot Robbie, how I love thee. She’s a Fem Goddess Delight and I want her in everything! Why can’t I have my Joker and Harley movie? DC you bastards, grow some goddamn balls!
Kudos to Tarantino for using real footage of Tate when showing the film THE WRECKING CREW (1969). It was a brilliant move. Rumor has it that this was at the request of Tate’s family and if so, they deserve a debt of gratitude because it only added to the amazing atmosphere of this near perfect movie.
I say near perfect for one reason: Lena Fucking Dunham. Thank God, she only has a five minute role as Charles Manson’s (David Herriman) follower Gypsy. She can’t act her way out of a paper bag. I assume she was hired because she’s homely and odd, but neither assists in her performance. She is so affected and her entire acting bit seems like it would make for an unfunny SNL sketch, also known as an SNL sketch. The moments that the flick focuses on Gypsy are the only times I was taken out of the movie. Every other second, I was engrossed, engaged and enjoying the hell out of it.
On an unrelated note, what the fuck was up with Dunham mauling Brad Pitt at the red carpet premiere? Had that been a dude or the other way around, all hell would be breaking loose right now. I hope Brad Purell-ed his mouth. I don’t care how gorgeous a guy is, I’m not going anywhere near lips that Dunham touched. BLECK! She’s nasty.
Still, even the scenes with Lena had some great qualities. We got to see the recreation of Spahn Ranch with Bruce Dern making an appearance as George Spahn. Now, Dern is the man! THE BURBS (1989), DIGGSTOWN (1993), THE COWBOYS (1972) – the list goes on and on. Dern is a casting choice I can get behind. The man is a legend and it goes without saying he doesn’t disappoint. I heard Burt Reynolds was supposed to get the part before he died. That would have been interesting too. I love Reynolds, but Dern owned the part and made it his own.
The other cameos were outstanding as well. I loved seeing Michael Madsen, Al Pacino, Kurt Russell and of course Luke Perry in his last performance. Rest in Peace, Perry. You’re making heaven all that much sexier!
In the end, the Manson crew go to Cielo Drive to do their evil deeds. The ending is absolutely shocking and gives an unexpected explanation of the title which is fab cool.
I can’t suggest this enough. If not for Lena I’d be giving it a 10 out of 10, but I hate that wench so imma going with a 9.5. That may be immature, but it’s my review. Deal with it, bitches!
Scared Stiff Rating: 9.5/10
