By Geno McGahee
“There was something in that room with us.” – Stella (Lara Belmont)
In 2000, FINAL DESTINATION was released and it proved to be very successful. The invisible killer with the victims all being marked for death was a formula that worked and was used in many films that followed, including the 2002 horror movie “LONG TIME DEAD.” The big difference is that this group did not cheat death. They were foolish enough to contact the other side via Ouija board and now one of them is possessed by the evil spirit of the djinn.
Rob (Joe Absolom), Stella (Lara Belmont), Annie (Melanie Gutteridge), Spencer (James Hillier), Liam (Alec Newman), Joe (Mel Raido), Lucy (Marsha Thomason) and Webster (Lukas Haas) go out partying and are having a great time. To add some more fun to the evening, they decide to contact the other side with an Ouija board and that’s when the trouble begins. The board spells out “All Die” and Liam screams and runs away. All at the table felt something evil present and it gets confirmed when Annie faces it while on her own. She is the first to die but the group realizes that there is a djinn with a mission to kill them all.
OK, so the makers also saw WISHMASTER. So what? There is an overall panic in the group and the only one with real knowledge of the problem is Lucy, but she isn’t that helpful. The others in the group are equally ineffective at battling this spirit, but they begin to investigate and figure some things out. The djinn has a connection with one of the members and there is a deadly history involved.
With one of the members possessed, this has become a hybrid supernatural/whodunit horror film and it’s safe to say that this entire movie is uninspired and confused. It’s so lacking in original ideas that we have an old guy noting that the youngsters are “all gonna die,” much like the old guy in FRIDAY THE 13TH.
The unfortunate thing about this film is that the acting is rather good and those involved did what they could to sell this, but there just wasn’t much here. We have the great reveal at the end and a cool death to the djinn…sort of. Seeing a man on fire kicked down an elevator shaft has to be worth something, but that is one of the very few highlights in this film.
LONG TIME DEAD is heavily influenced by the popular films of the time. To its credit, the film looks beautiful and is well shot. They just didn’t focus on the screenplay as much as they should and that’s surprising since they had five or so writers involved. Maybe that is the problem. Too many cooks in the kitchen.
With some WISHMASTER, FINAL DESTINATION and even some I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER mixed up in this mess, LONG TIME DEAD is nearly unwatchable. It’s dull and moves at a snail’s pace. Even though the other movies mentioned aren’t exactly classics, they knew how to keep an audience and to keep it moving. FINAL DESTINATION didn’t have to show much but the story kept pressing forward, increasing the intensity as needed. This film was totally lost and I’m rather sad I found it.
LONG TIME DEAD should be avoided. It’s too dull and presents absolutely nothing new. It actually takes some good ideas of the time and uses them in the most boring and uninspired ways possible.
Rating: 2/10