Reviewed by Melissa Antoinette Garza
In honor of Rick Santorum, I decided to review “A Wet Dream on Elm Street” earlier than I anticipated.
My interest with this film started because as a child, I had a huge crush on Freddy Krueger (as played by Robert Englund, of course). I was a strange child. I never quite got over the crush, which would make me a stranger adult, I guess.
When “A Wet Dream on Elm Street” was released I knew it was a must-have.
The film opens with a young woman (Jennifer White) dreaming about having all sorts of sex with a very well- endowed gentleman (Chris Johnson). Twenty-two minutes later she wakes up next to Freddy (Anthony Rosano). Some hilarious banter ensures as she mistakes him for Edward James Olmos to which he responds, “Why can’t anyone ever think I’m a burned Brad Pitt.”
Later, three women show up for their 2nd year high-school reunion and question why no one else is there. It seems that all the other classmates are in comas due to a massive amount of masturbation while sleeping. Their old sex ed. Professor (Tommy Pistol) believes it to be the ‘handy’ work of Freddy. He reminds them that Freddy was a great salesman who sold sex toys out of his car, but he had overcharged the people of Elm Street. With dildos in their hands they chased him down and burned him alive. As the professor threw the last match, he vowed revenge on all the students. The dildos melted onto his hand giving him a claw which essentially provides an overdose of pleasure.
Betty (Sophie Dee) fearful of what she was told by the professor relays how she had fallen asleep and seen Freddy in porn she was watching.
The professor says he has found a way to beat Freddy and takes a replica of his dildo claw out from his drawer. He confesses that he too had a dream with Freddy in it but woke up before he was put into a sexual coma. He lets Kimmie (Gracie Glam) play with the glove and when everyone falls Freddy appears and immediately tries to put Kimmie in a coma.
Like the entire production, the ending is just silly. This is a parody in the true sense of the word. It’s like a pornographic version of Airplane. The jokes are witty and the acting is great. Tommy Pistol did especially good as the over-the-top, purposefully ridiculous professor.
Surprisingly, Rosano really took to the Freddy role. He kept the well-known sarcastic nature of the character in tow. Despite the complete change in tone within the production, Freddy was kept true to form.
Overall, this is one of the best parodies. It’s funny, sexy, and speaks directly to horror fans without belittling them. Too often do movie makers create films meant to pay homage to horror only to make fun of the genre as a whole. “A Wet Dream on Elm Street” does not fall into that category. Thankfully, it never forgets who the audience is.
Scared Stiff Rating 9/10 I’m Rick Santorum and I approve this pornography. 
