By Geno McGahee
The subway can be a terrible place. It smells and you get those panhandlers and such and then you are trying to catch your train and a guy walks up to you with his dick cut off, asking for help. That happens in the SVU episode “CONTROL”, which is based on actual events. Damn, I wonder what dude got his junk cut off at the subway.
A grandfather (Mickey Hargitay) is with his granddaughter and is talking about the origins of life for some reason, leading to the conclusion that Bob the Builder created the world. It looked like the grandfather was going to give the granddaughter five across the eyes for the comment, which obviously went against his religious beliefs, when Horace Gorman (Austin Pendleton) walks up the escalator, asking for help and bleeding from the crotch. As he tries to explain his missing junk, he falls down the stairs. LAW & ORDER always knows how to start an episode. A dickless guy falling down the stairs is the perfect way to get the attention of the viewer.
Olivia (Mariska Hargitay) interviews the grandfather and he mentions that the dickless dude was “bleeding like a (long, unnecessary pause) stuffed pig.” At the hospital, Horace can’t recall anything outside of being at the subway and getting hit in the head. People block things out. for instance, if a guy gets his dick cut off, his mind could block that out. That’s not a memory that you’d want to hold onto.
Even though Horace made it to the hospital, his dick did not. So, the detectives are on the hunt for man junk. Olivia and Stabler (Christopher Meloni) go into the sewers and stumble upon Samael (Joseph McKenna), a man that believes he is a vampire. I wonder if this is based on a true story. I know a lot of fucked up people and it’s possible that a dude thought he was a vampire and was holding onto a guy’s prick for luck or whatever, but this part may have been made up to make the episode more interesting.
Samael notes that he has an angel and that she brings him things and, in this case, brought him some guy’s severed cock. As a vampire, living in the sewers and not getting out to the market often, and not having a job or income, I can imagine that any gift is a good gift. I feel bad for homeless vampires, especially those that think a severed cock is a good gift.
It turns out that Horace has some dark secrets. He has been kidnapping women and holding them hostage and forcing them into mock marriages. He cuts them loose when he’s bored with them, but he’s never served a day in prison. Hilary (Samantha Mathis) emerges as a past victim and potential subway attacker. She has had her fair share of problems, including drugs, and she’s not happy with the police, including Olivia. Years prior, Hilary reported what happened to her and Olivia didn’t buy it. The case was closed before it began.
Horace is found dead and Hilary is suspected, but her mother, Juliet (Jacqueline Bisset) confesses to the crime. Considering that Juliet disowned her daughter and didn’t believe her rape story, it’s reasonable to think that she is just covering for her daughter. The case goes to trial and there are some twists at the end of this one.
LAW & ORDER SVU: CONTROL is a very good episode that gets a few extra points for the vampire guy. I’m now afraid of going into the subway because I don’t want to run into a dick-collecting vampire guy. I don’t care how good he sucks.
