By Clive “Buttplug” Pluggerson
Let me tell you something brother. My friend and former tag-team partner, Hulk Hogan, just got divorced from his second wife, Jennifer McDaniel, and it was a shocker. It was more shocking than the time when I had that steel cage match at MSG against SD Jones and Andre the Giant pranked us by taking a dump in our gym bags. That big man was a prankster brother.
Now, I see all this fake news brother and I wanted to get it right from the horse’s mouth man. So, I called the Hulkster and he had the following to say:
“Let me tell you something brother. I can’t believe that I’m divorced again man. It was bigger than Bash at the Beach brother. It was bigger than the Dungeon of Doom when Kamala’s sack fell out of his shorts and slapped me in the face in the ring man.
I didn’t want to get divorced man, but she wouldn’t stop watching my matches from the 80s man and she didn’t like how Mr. Wonderful gave me the pile driver. She got jealous because my face was in his crotch man.
Who would have thought it man. I’m a real American brother and I thought that she was screwing Big John Studd on the side, but he’s dead brother. I can rule that out man. I don’t know man. I just need to not marry anyone else because this match made in heaven was a match made in hell and Jake the Snake didn’t whip out his python in my face either.
Now, I’m going to hang and bang man and am making a full return to wrestling and there will be a new Dungeon of Doom with Brutus Beefcake resuming his role as Bootyman but the dude is having some digestive problems. Don’t sit in the front row brother.
I’m back on the market man and whatcha gonna do when the Hulkster goes on a date with you?!”
Wow, my best friend, The Hulkster, really laid the smack down there!
