By Melissa Antoinette Garza
There will never be another movie like HAROLD AND MAUDE (1971). It’s a perfect movie from start to finish. I’m in love with this flick. If I’m having a bad day or feeling less optimistic about the world around me, I can listen to the wisdom of Maude (Ruth Gordon) and find enjoyment in the littlest things again. Never has there been a character more worthy of the title Fem Goddess. If only we all could see the world thru Maude’s eyes, it would be a far happier place to be. She is who I aspire to be.
The film begins with young, depressed Harold Chasen (Bud Cort) who lives with his wealthy, overbearing and intolerable mother (Vivian Pickles). Mrs. Chasen tries to push her 18-year-old son into becoming a more conventional man of his age. She tries to set him up with random women that he has zero in common with.
Harold is just moving through life directionless. He pretends to commit suicide on the regular and attends funerals for kicks. Though this behavior horrifies and annoys his mother, a more intuitive spirit sees the actions as a call for help.
Maude is nearing her 80th birthday. She attends funerals of people that she doesn’t know though for different reasons than Harold. His pessimistic adoration for death is contrasted by Maude who goes there to celebrate life. She always celebrates life.
At one funeral, Maude attempts to befriend Harold. Harold is polite, but reserved. He’s been a misunderstood loner for his whole life. He’s one of those gents who was burdened with an insane existence and doesn’t know it so just believes himself to be crazy. He thinks those like his mother are normal and so by design he feels flawed. His aversion to her and those similar to her makes him near content in the self-destructive mindset that he adopted. It’s the “I’m all alone. No on will ever get me” feeling that is destroying Harold and he doesn’t even know it. This misery has manifested so deeply that reason and rationale have gone.
He goes to therapy, talks to his windbag military uncle who tries to recruit him and is forced into dates he loathes. He reacts by boyishly lashing out. It’s time for him to be a man, but he doesn’t know how or even what that means. He just knows that the existence of the people around him is not one he could live and so death is the far better option. That is until Maude.
Maude is fabulous. She’s the only one who doesn’t wear black to the funeral. She adds color everywhere. She walks Harold out and informs him that they will be great friends. She offers him a lift, but he declines. She then asks if he sings or dances. He says no and laughing she drives off saying, “I thought not.” Once away, a man emerges to say that the old woman stole his vehicle. Our intro to Maude is her thieving a car at a funeral. She is the definition of a life well spent.
Harold is a bit taken by the encounter, but then returns home to mother. Mrs. Chasen has taken it upon herself not only to sign Harold up to a dating service, but to answer all of the questions for him. She ignores and for the most part doesn’t even know who Harold is as she’s too busy trying to make him into her vision of what a real man is supposed to be. She dismisses his temperament, philosophy and mindset because she’s so damn selfish and fearful of what people will think.
Mrs. Chasen wants her son to be an alpha male but he’s a fem boy and he needs someone to show him it’s okay that he’s like that. He doesn’t need to be a soldier with a basic bride who cheers on the local football team. The issue is that he isn’t aware of anything else in life to appreciate. He needs an experienced fem to show him the true beauty that encompasses mind, body and spirit; as all of these materialistic and shallow possessions and people around do nothing but depress the hell out of him.
Thankfully, Maude makes another appearance at the next funeral of someone that neither she nor Harold knows. This time she dons a bright yellow umbrella while it rains outside. She’s just a firecracker and doesn’t give a fuck.
Just as before, she grabs a car and asks Harold if he wants a lift. The man from the previous funeral happens by and asks if she was the one who stole his car. She fully admits it and then urges Harold once again to get in. He does. Unbeknownst to her, she stole his car. Still, he’s so nonchalant about it and just gets in and lets her drive. This is what makes Harold special. There’s no pretense with him. There’s no rush to judgement or judgement at all. Never does he see her as old or unworthy of friendship or love. No, instead he sees the real her. He falls for the kindness, sincerity, wisdom and unparalleled beauty that radiated so brightly within that it found its way around her.
These traits speak to him and that’s why she’s a Fem Goddess. Harold needs someone in his life but is so dispirited that he wasn’t reaching out. He closed himself off completely and feigned suicides as his only mechanism to get the point across. That’s why Fems are so spectacular. A Fem eye can spot a gent in need from miles away. It’s intuition. We’re nurturers by design and we build up. True fems use the positivity they have within them to make the world a better place, even if it’s just offering an escape to a lost lonely gent in a world of madness.
Harold is intrigued by Maude’s way of life and begins asking her about everything. He asks why she steals cars and she tells him that it’s important to remind people that things are as fragile as they themselves are – here today and gone tomorrow so appreciate the now. She goes on to reveal everything. She’s an open book who loves the life she lived. She talks about how she would free canaries from pet stores and realized the idea was far ahead of its time as we still have zoos and overpopulated prisons. “How the world still dearly loves a cage,” is a comment that said by anyone else would be cynical, but not by Maude. There’s disgust in her voice by the idea, but the optimism that is embedded in her every cell is a promise of hope. Harold is that hope. If Harold can come out of his tragic existence and find his full gent form, then a bit more happiness has made its way into the universe. If that keeps spreading, wonderful changes can happen.
The first time we see Harold laugh is in the company of Maude. She invites him to stay for tea, but he has a therapy appointment. Still, he promises to return. I love Harold. Harold is the guy that just doesn’t know how great he is because the average morons who want conformity surround him. They constantly remind him what a failure he is. Thankfully, when he meets Maude he suddenly likes something. He doesn’t even know what it is. Later, the assumption is Maude -and to a great extent it is. He loves Maude. To the moon and back, they love each other; but it’s also bigger than that Fem Goddess. He likes himself too and he likes the world absent of the negativity. He learns ways to fight for himself without having to go alpha masc. His intellect, his wit, his charm, his flow and his sweetness are all revealed by Maude. Her love and loyalty is a necessary mirror into his own soul and into recognizing that those who tried to bring him down for so long were soulless. He’s above them. He’s better than they are and he’s worthy of a higher level of love and existence – something far greater those lives lived by the transparent, empty and spiteful wretches. When he realizes that, the fear is gone. The desire to die disappears and he doesn’t give a fuck what the world thinks any longer. He loves Maude. He loves making love to Maude and he want to be with her for the rest of his life.
When he reveals to his family the intentions to propose, they all make it about themselves. He’s unmoved. No one owns him anymore and he doesn’t have to play the faux suicide games to get mommy’s attention. He’s moved on. He’s a man. Sure, he’s not the alpha male she envisioned. He’s better. He’s a full fem man who is comfortable in his own skin and in the world he longs to have with Maude, despite her being nearly 80.
For the few who haven’t seen this film, I won’t spoil the ending. It’s not the typical happy Hollywood fodder but it never loses its optimism. Even in gut-wrenching scenes, the theme is to love and embrace life and to love and embrace those who need it most.
Beyond being the greatest romantic movie of all time, it’s filled with hilarious laughs, a compelling plot and a cast to die for. Never has an onscreen duo had more palpable chemistry than Bud Cort and Ruth Gordon. The energy, sensuality and mutual adoration erases the age difference. They are sexy together and Maude is gorgeous in every way.
In one of my favorite scenes, Harold goes to Maude’s and finds her modeling nude. She asks him if he thinks that it’s wrong to do that. He doesn’t answer immediately and it isn’t because he’s trying to say something politely. He is earnestly trying to figure out what he believes. His mother has told him what to think and what is right for so long that other than knowing of the misery he feels, he is completely unfamiliar with what he thinks or believes or desires. It takes Maude’s genuine curiosity for him to even begin the search.
After thinking, this lovely gent says the right answer. “No.” He’s being 100% honest. He has no issue with her nude modeling and in fact enjoys some of the risque artwork in her home. Maude gives him some weed which is yet another new experience for him. It is at this point that he’s just falling madly in love with her. She’s it. She’s the break in the eternal cloud that he needed and he is the final love story that she wanted.
If the production wasn’t perfect enough, the soundtrack brings it home. The masterful Cat Stevens/Yusuf’s music is used in certain places to tell the story, convey emotion and to celebrate the many moments within worth celebrating.
I can’t suggest this enough. You should own it and then you should buy it for any of your friends who don’t own it.
This movie is full fem delight. It’s a movie that celebrates full fem godesses and fem minded boys. If I were on an island with only this film for entertainment, I’d be more than okay.
Scared Stiff Rating: 10/10
