Reviewed by Melissa Garza
I was a young kid when Amy Fisher gunned down Mary Jo Buttafuoco. I remember watching all the TV movies and skits on SNL and In Living Color. The story as I remembered it was a girl seduced by a much older man and the two collaborated on killing his wife. When reading Mary Jo’s book, it becomes clear that isn’t the story and though she was the victim of a heinous act was put through the ringer again by the media and authorities.
Mary Jo’s book is a wonderful read from start to finish. The book begins by introducing her ex-husband Joey as a sociopath. She provides a brief recap of the saga that shoved her into the spotlight. Then, she starts from the beginning. She recounts how she met Joey in summer school and how their relationship flourished. Despite using the diagnosis “sociopath,” she does talk about good times with him. The relationship itself is said to have been a rollercoaster.
Despite, rumors of infidelity, cocaine abuse, and getting shot in the head by someone claiming to have an affair with her husband – Mary Jo stayed for years. She defended him despite all the evidence indicating that he wasn’t being truthful. His charm, ability to lie, and her willingness to believe him – kept their shaky marriage on shaky ground. When his charm no longer carried the same weight, it was the love of her children, an addiction to pain killers, and Catholic upbringing that kept her by the side of Joey.
Even without the Amy Fisher saga, Mary Jo’s story is a powerful one. It is one of perseverance and strength. It was about not giving in or giving up and the knowledge that one doesn’t equate the other. So many books are on the market and claim to be self-help or awareness books, but Mary Jo’s journey is one that can really help women in circumstances like hers. It reminded me much of my mother and my childhood. My mother stayed with my father for many of the reasons, Mary Jo remained with Joey. When I was 18 she finally left him. It took me years to understand the level of strength it took for her to stay – and the amount of will it took her to leave.
The ending of Mary Jo’s saga was very positive. I also find semblance in her relationship with Stu – this time with myself. Coming from a chaotic home, where my father would ruin everything and my mother would work to give the illusion all was okay and do her best to make it that way – I was under the long impression that all relationships had a level of insanity. Cool – call and collective love was only found on 80s sitcoms. My husband taught me that wasn’t true and grounded me in the way I think Stu must have grounded Mary Jo.
This book is a must-read for any woman who has ever had a boyfriend, father, or even teacher who revealed themselves as a sociopath. Though there are insightful moments, much therapy simply comes from saying – “Oh, wow… Okay, I’m not the only one.”
Scared Stiff Rating 9/10
