By Geno McGahee
In the fourth entry of this series, the slasher was killed. Jason Voorhees was no more, which is why it was called: “The Final Chapter,” but how many “final” movies are there in a horror franchise? They are not going to stop making them if they are drawing money and that was certainly the case with the F13 series. So, we have FRIDAY THE 13TH PART V: A NEW BEGINNING, a very strange entry in this series and one of the poorest of the bunch, although there are some good moments.
We begin at a home for troubled people of various issues. We have mentally challenged, violent and some that seems normal but is still stuck there along with the rest. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it’s a Jason movie.
Tommy Jarvis (John Shepherd) is trying to get his life together but is still seeing visions of Jason. This program is there to help him, but he immediately deals with a little prick by the name of “Reggie the Reckless” (Shavar Ross). Reggie is there with his grandfather, the cook, and he is about as annoying as it gets, but there are so many annoying characters in this film. That is almost the point, I guess. Let’s make every character unlikable and annoying.
Jarvis makes Halloween masks…a fitting hobby for somebody deathly afraid of Jason. You’d think that he would try to not think of scary things and rather do something happy. He could draw pictures of princesses or pick flowers…but no, he’s making demonic Halloween masks and he scares the shit out of Reggie with them.
In the backyard of this group home, we have Vic (Mark Venturini), who obviously has major problems with his rage. What better person to have chopping wood with a big axe? Joey (Dominick Brascia), a slow guy on the heavy side, approaches and offers Vic a candy bar. When he is turned down, he tells Vic that he’s “really out of line” and those are his last words. He’s chopped to pieces.
After the untimely death of Joey, Jason appears to return. A hockey-masked killer is going around and slashing up random people…so random that we never meet them until just before they are killed. OK, so, many of the deaths are just there to push up the death count. We have Pete (Corey Parker) and Vinnie (Anthony Barrrile), two men that like to wear leather and hang out with each other. They break down and then are killed about a minute after we meet them. Reggie’s cousin, Demon (Miguel Nunez JR) and his girlfriend, Anita (Jere Fields) are brought in and they talk about burritos with Reggie and then have the shits and are killed. Jason is usually far more focused than this. He’s just randomly running around killing people and not even waiting for them to get done doing their business in the shitter. How rude!
We have Lana (Rebecca Wood) and her boyfriend, Billy (Bob DeSimone). Billy was introduced early as the driver of the van that brought Jarvis over and he is established as a pervert. So, they did do some character development here with him, but the next time we see him, he’s doing cocaine and picking up his girlfriend, Lana, at the diner. Lana shows her tits to the mirror and says “it’s showtime” and then finds Billy dead and then she’s taken out. Jeez. This is more senseless killing. What was Jason doing at the diner anyway? He can’t leave Crystal Lake!
We have more useless characters with Ethel (Carol Locatell) and her son Junior (Ron Sloan). They don’t like the kids having sex outside near their property and complain often to the police. They are back wood, white trash, incredibly stupid characters that at least have some screen time. I was amused by Junior…I have to admit and Ethel calling him a “big dildo” was amusing too. These two may get a pass, but not by much. Here is some of the great writing used to develop Ethyl: “You big dildo. Eat your fucking slop! Ain’t I make the best goddamned stew in the whole wide world?” I’m laughing now…so, it’s obviously good writing.
Pointless character after pointless character is taken out and then it’s a battle and Reggie the Reckless is kicking Jason’s ass. I hate when kids fight and beat up adults. It’s unrealistic and Reggie needed to die in this. He was so annoying, but he makes it and we were in for a shocker: Jason was not the killer. It was (spoiler if you care), Joey’s father seeking revenge. WHAT?!!! What the hell did Pete, Vinnie, Lana, Ethyl, Junior, Demon, Anita, and the rest had to do with the death of Joey? If anything, Vic should have had his guts ripped out, but Joey’s crazy father (who looks at the camera with a mean look every time he’s on to tell you he’s the killer) just killed to kill. Maybe it’s just blind rage. He just couldn’t control his anger for the death of his son, but if his son was so important to him, why did he let him rot in that group home? Joey would be a pain in the ass around the house, but if you gave him a peanut butter sandwich and an Xbox, he’d be fine.
FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING is terrible. It’s amusing at times, but it makes no sense. As much as I love Jason, I can’t recommend this one.
Rating: 2.5/10
FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION box sex is released this Friday by Warner Bros. Entertainment and is well worth the price. You can own it on Blu-Ray by clicking here and go to the Facebook Page and like the page. Get your ticket to Crystal Lake and get this collector’s set.
