By Melissa Antoinette Garza
Staying with the tone of sexploitation movies and jumping back into discussing my favorite topic, Richard O’Brien, I’ve opted to review a strange little comedy with 3D sequences, a bunch of sex, an odd plot, and most importantly to me, a certain long haired hippie in bed with two hotties. That scene should have been so much longer, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
The film opens with Hans Wiemer (Tristan Rogers), a German reporter, who goes to London in search for a story on the lives of au pairs. The article is intended to highlight the circumstances regarding women, who are brought to the country for employment, but treated like slaves.
Prior to leaving Gemany, Hans meets with friends, who beg him to find their missing 18 year-old daughter, Greta (Leena Skoog). He agrees to do his best and actually interviews a handful of people, who know and have seen her. Each person tells a story that when combined, paints the picture of a multifaceted woman.
The first person that Hans speaks to is Mrs. Marks (Carole Allen), a former employer and sponsor. She tells how Greta had only worked for her for a few days, while immediately revealing the reason by yelling at her new au pair. Marks is just a horrible woman and it’s quite refreshing to see Hans turn her down when she tries to be seductive.
Meanwhile, Hans hits the streets with his old friend Sue (Karen Boyes), who in her words is “practically married.” Rest assured, the marriage does not stop her from having some fun with pretty boy Hans. On their night out, he meets a hot, blonde, German woman, Kristen (Jane Cardew), at a club. Coincidentally, she has a friend that knows Greta. Now, her friend is extremely important. Her friend holds the key to this entire movie. Her friend is the lovely and divine Serena (Felicity Devonshire).
Oh, how great this scene is. You see, Serena is not alone at the club. No, this strikingly beautiful woman, who has an amazing body is on the dance floor heating it up with a certain, delectably, delightful hippie. He has long hair and a style that makes any living creature with taste quiver from head-to-toe. On a very related note, he’s portrayed by Richard O’Brien and though I don’t see the name credited anywhere I believe he’s called Peter. Therefore, for the purposes of this review that’s his name.
I love Serena’s character so much! Kudos, to Ms. Devonshire. She is simply a heavenly shining star! She conveyed the reactions, that I imagine, every person who was ever touched by Richard O’Brien has. Serena has been absorbed into Peter’s ecstasy and can’t respond to any questions. She’s my hero and I love her! I’m painfully jealous, but, God, I love her with him.
So, Serena, entranced by beautiful Peter, returns to the dance floor with him in a wonderfully, brazen dance. It is palpable; his hands on her body, him dancing against her, her holding him tight, his tongue on her forehead- and it all taking place, underneath the dark red and blue lights, in a 1970s shadowy, London nightclub. If there is a heaven, this scene is being played, over and over again, on the biggest screen in the sky.
Serena explains that she obviously can’t think of Greta at that moment. As stated above, there are more pressing matters; but the lovely lady does invite Hans to come to her place the next day and talk.
Sue returns to the hotel and sweats up the sheets with Hans. It’s a fine little 70s sex scene, but at this point, my mind is still happily rested on Peter and Serena. I like to think, Sue and Hans just got so turned on, by that gorgeous punk God, in his tight,yellow and red tank top and to-die-for black studded belt, that they gave into passion. That’s my mental, crazed fan-fic interpretation of the events, anyways.
Well, the next day, Hans does go back to Kristen and Serena’s apartment. It quickly becomes clear that we were voyeurs at the wrong house. Peter is in bed with Kristen and Serena, both of which are very naked and very beautiful. I’m not 100% sure they had a threesome, but by God, if there is cutting room floor footage of that scene, please someone release it! For the love of all that is good and holy, give humanity all never-before-seen footage of Richard O’Brien’s character. The man is just magnificent living art. Not sure if I’ve ever mentioned it before, but I’m kind of a fan.
Kristen gets out of bed and agrees to tell Hans about Greta. Meanwhile, sexy, smart Serena remains with the hippie and makes love to him. Oddly, Hans seems a bit disturbed by the lovemaking. I hate to say it, but Hans may be a bit of a weirdo. I mean, he doesn’t try to join in the fun once – even after being invited in. That said, he wasn’t aware that Peter was under the sheets at that moment. In my world, had he known, that scene would have played out differently and been a whole lot longer.
Now, as Hans is being told about Greta, the sequences do switch to 3D. I didn’t have 3D glasses handy and watching it without them didn’t bug me. It’s obviously a bit blurry, but sort of reminded me of the old school NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD releases before they were remastered. There’s a certain charm to it.
After talking to a number of people, Hans does finally find Greta, who had been in desperate need for help.
This is a delightful film. Thank you, Pete Walker! You always create the most excellent productions. THE COMEBACK (1978), SCHIZO (1976) HOUSE OF WHIPCORD (1974), THE FLESH AND BLOOD SHOW (1972) DIE SCREAMING MARIANNE (1971)….I could literally go on and on; the man can’t make a bad movie!
This is such an under-appreciated masterpiece. The casting is fantastic. I recognize Rogers from his years on GENERAL HOSPITAL (1963) as Robert Scorpio. My mother was a soap fanatic and I was raised on them. He’s a great actor and does fine in this role.
In fact, everyone does a brilliant job. Of course, if I was going to grade performances, there was a standout. I can’t lie. I don’t want to keep you all in suspense, as to who my personal favorite is, so I’ll just say it. My God, Richard O’Brien is amazing! For his performance alone, I recommend owning this.
Have fun ladies and gents, it’s on AMAZON PRIME. Watch this immediately.
Scared Stiff Rating: 8.5/10 but Richard O’Brien Rating: 11/10
