By Melissa Antoinette Garza
“There‘s nothing wrong with G rated movies as long as there‘s lots of sex and violence.” – Elvira (Cassandra Peterson)
When I was in elementary school, some girls idolized She-Ra, some lived for Rainbow Brite. The young intellectuals of the bunch may have even thrown Nancy Reagan‘s name around as their role model. I wanted to be the female horror icon, Elvira (Cassandra Peterson).
Elvira was the fun, sexy in-your-face host of Movie Macabre. Every horror fan should be very familiar with her work, but for those not, Movie Macabre was a program which would show old and generally enjoyably bad B-horror and sci-fi films where Elvira would add commentary and In between segments, she would tell jokes. What made her stand out and become a household name, was her amazing personality and absolute IT factor. Her original style was as captivating as her unsurpassed talent. She wore a seductive black dress, similar to Morticia’s from the Addams family. Of course, Elvira’s was much more revealing. She wore a large black wig, bright red lipstick and dark eye make-up. She was the definition of pale beauty and provided hope for an entire generation of dark-haired girls who always saw the Barbie doll blondes portrayed as the sexy ones while those with darker locks were just seen as plain (a.e. Splash, Mannequin, Date with an Angel, Teen Wolf).
In the 80s feminism was still something that often presented a persona of anti-sexuality. It became so focused on presenting women as something other than objects, it stripped the sensuality away. Many times, women fit into one of two categories. Those who were merely present to please men and often portrayed the standard damsel in distress, or on the other side, they would be the fierce take- no-prisoners, suit-wearing men-hating feminists.
In ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK, the character of Elvira was explored on a whole new level and added much depth to the persona. She was tough and could take care of herself, but was also unafraid of celebrating her body and sexuality. She could beat the hell out of a guy who was out of line an then seduce one she wanted to sleep with. It was always apparent she was in charge and in control. She had wit, charm and effortlessly showed that being a strong woman and being a sexy woman are not exclusive to one another. She represented the best of both worlds.
More than that, ELVIRA MISTRESS OF THE DARK is a wonderfully fun dark comedy that makes light of hypocrites who pretend to be God fearing Christians but are nothing more than backstabbers who who look down on anyone different.
The movie opens where Elvira tells off her creepy boss and quits her job leaving her penniless. Thankfully, her great Aunt Morgana passed away and left her a house, cook book and poodle in Fallwell Massachusetts. She arrives in the small town which is seemingly the most boring in America. The teenage boys are enamored, the teenage girls think she’s cool, the grown men make inappropriate sexual comments to her, and the grown women in town pass judgment and try to force her out of town.
Instead of cowering, she tells them off with her quick wit and when that fails threatens them. Her Great Aunt’s brother Vincent (William Morgan Sheppard) asks to buy the cookbook from her for $50.00. She agrees not knowing that the book has special powers. Fortunately, she was unable to find the book thus angering an impatient uncle.
Meanwhile, she begins making herself at home. She gives her poodle a bright pink Mohawk and dyes patches of fur on the legs black. Then, the teenage boys much to the chagrin of the town helps her remodel and paint the home all neon different neon colors. The town holds a meeting declaring if any teenager is found in the presence of Elvira they will be expelled from school. Her troubles mount as the real estate agent she had to sell the house attempted to sleep with her. She physically throws him out of the house and penniless begins looking for a job in town. Unfortunately, all the gossips led by the amusingly named Chastity Pariah (Edie McClurg) call the local businesses making employment nearly impossible.
The town’s distaste towards her begins to wear her down until she convinces the buff sexy theater owner Bob (Daniel Greene) to allow her to revamp his movie theater into a moneymaker. She plants a kiss on him, just as uptight Patty (Susan Kellermann) who has a major thing for Bob looks over. Patty vows revenge and does all she can do to sabotage Elvira’s plan.
Elvira quickly rallies the support of the teenagers. Despite the threats of the schools and their parents, they agree to help her. Things go well, until Patty switches buckets during Elvira’s dance routine inspired by the film “Fame.” Instead of gold dust, she is tarred and feathered.
Bob brings her home and after cleaning up she decides to cook a meal from the newly found cookbook. She brings the “food” to the table and takes the top off only to reveal a monster. She then realizes why Vincent wanted the cookbook and vows to keep it away from him.
She attempts a spell to get quick cash but instead it only brings a snake. They quickly get rid of the snake and Elvira feigns a little more fear than she experiences to seduce the very shy Bob. It works.
The next day the town holds a picnic to celebrate morality. Elvira takes the opportunity to seek revenge and makes a dish which brings out the sexuality of all the Fallwell Morality Club members.
Soon, the town rallies together proclaiming Elvira a witch and decides to burn her. With torches in hand the citizens cheer as the police tie her to a pole and Patty gladly starts the fire.
Cassandra Peterson shines as Elvira. There isn’t another person who could pull off the level of over-the-top silliness that she has. Peterson has the great ability of making bad jokes funny and lack of subtlety charming. She is one-of-a-kind and created one of the greatest assets to the horror genre.
Edie McClurg did great in her role as the town gossip and the morality police. McClurg is a wonderful actress who always delivers. Regardless of her how small or larger her role is, she always stands out and due to her immense talent ensures that her character is a major player. She was so well-suited as Chastity and portrayed the judgmental hypocrite wonderfully.
From beginning to end, this cult classic is a great, fun movie. Fans of THE BURBS, ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW, FRIGHT NIGHT, and BLACK ROSES will all find reason to love this film. This is a timeless treasure that is as funny now as when it was released.
Scared Stiff Rating 8/10
