By Geno McGahee
In 1987, Tom Hanks was on the verge of superstardom with films like BACHELOR PARTY, THE MONEY PIT and SPLASH as notable releases. He was in that goofy phase that ran for quite a while and it can get really obnoxious and that is definitely on display in the film adaptation of the hit TV show, DRAGNET.
Friday (Dan Aykroyd) is a by the book detective with a monotone delivery, obviously inspired by Jack Webb, the original Friday. He is assigned a new partner and is immediately bothered by his messy appearance. Streebek (Tom Hanks) is a detective in the style of Martin Riggs from LETHAL WEAPON, but without any of the charisma or believability. Watching Hanks punch people out in this is very bad, but maybe that was the point. They pushed the silliness as much as they could.
The two opposites team up and take on the P.A.G.A.N. case. A group of cultists are going around setting things on fire, stealing things and hurting people. Friday and Streebek infiltrate a meeting of the cult and they bring out Connie (Alexandra Paul) as the sacrificial virgin. They are able to rescue her and she gets a good glimpse at the face of the leader, which turns out to be a Christian leader, Whirley, played by Christopher Plummer. Plummer turns out to be a big highlight in this film.
As likable as Aykroyd is, he is very unfunny in this and so is Hanks. I guess the idea was to take the path like AIRPLANE. They took a serious show and they parodied it and it could have worked, but it absolutely didn’t. I found myself wanted to shut this film off over and over again, but I was able to hang in there.
Two actors deserve big credit for actually being funny. Jack O’Halloran played a henchman, Muzz, for the cult and his over the top reactions and joy was funny. When he is interrogated, that was a good scene, but it was all due to O’Halloran’s reactions and overacting in this. The other is Dabney Coleman as the Hugh Hefner of the film, Jerry Caesar. Coleman had a lot of fun with this role and his ridiculous accent worked. He is a natural comedic actor and came through here.
Friday gets kicked off the force and now we have to endure Hanks being “funny.” His performance reminds me a lot of Adam Sandler when he tries to be funny. They make funny faces, scream, and then repeat. As much as I’m shitting on Hanks and rightfully so, I do enjoy a lot of his work…once he got that stuff in check. Considering how his career turned out and the film roles he went on to take, I’m guessing he probably didn’t enjoy this goofy stage of his career that much.
As a huge fan of the TV series, DRAGNET, I have to say that this film is a love letter to the show, but it’s a shitty love letter where everything is misspelled and they sprayed it with shitty cheap perfume. I get what they were trying to do here but it just didn’t work.
I was going to give this a 5/10 until I sat through the credits and it lost a point and they’re lucky it was just one point. They have a fucking rap song that Aykroyd and Hanks perform. Why did every asshole in the entertainment business do a rap song in the 80s? Didn’t anyone hear this rap song and say “Mr. Aykroyd. Mr. Hanks. This really blows donkeys. Maybe we should not include it.”
So avoid this one. I credit Plummer, Coleman and O’Halloran as the only rays of hope in this miserable comedy without laughs.
