By Melissa Antoinette Garza
I try my best to stick up for modern horror. I know there’s a lot of films out there that suck, but I don’t automatically hate a movie because it’s newer. If anything, I give movies made today a lot more leeway than those made in the 70s because the ones made during that era are typically so damn good. Movies like HAPPY DEATH DAY (2017), SINISTER 2 (2015) and KRAMPUS (2015) are fun productions that I give a lot of credit to. That said, if they were made in the heyday of horror, I’d consider them nothing above mediocre; but aside entries like CARRIE (2013), AMITYVILLE: THE AWAKENING (2017), and IT COMES AT NIGHT (2017) they stand out as something special.
DON’T HANG UP (2016) was on the list of recommended Amazon Prime horror entries. I went in blind, not even watching the trailer or reading the synopsis. There was a girl in red yelling on the cover and I figured, this will do.
I had zero expectations. The movie opens with little promise, but I had hope that there would be some twist or turn that would suddenly make it worth the watch. That hope was in vain and I was left with a mishmash of SAW (2004), SCREAM (1996) and THE STRANGERS (2008) while at the same time failing to deliver any of the scares, character development or intensity of those films.
It all begins when a woman gets a frantic call saying that someone is in her house and after her child. She’s freaking out and believes she’s calling the police but in reality, she’s speaking with our “protagonists” who prank people online.
Sam (Gregg Sulkin) and Brady (Garrett Clayton) are best friends. Sam is the nicer of the two, but he’s still involved with pranking innocent people. He’s also sad because his girlfriend Peyton (Bella Dayne) broke up with him.
Brady wants to cheer Sam up, so they begin to prank people again only to get a prank call themselves by a guy who identifies himself as Mr. Lee. He warns the duo not to hang up and when they do, it’s revealed that Mr. Lee knows everything about them and has Brady’s parents tied up in their underwear.
Mr. Lee reveals that his intentions are to get the boys to do exactly what he tells them to and in return they’d have some sort of say in who dies. That goes out the window when it’s shown that Mr. Lee lied to them, the video is hours old and the parents are already dead.
It becomes clear that Lee’s only motivation is to make both men pay for their prank calls by killing everyone close to them including Peyton. And that’s it. That’s the whole movie.
The director tried to get a few cool camera shots, but they were just lame and too on the nose of what he was trying to convey. It was like getting beaten over the head with a hammer.
There was also no twist. Not that I would have cheered if Peyton or Brady were in on the prank, but at the very least it would have been something. Instead, it’s a guy who’s pissed off that one of their prank calls led to the death of his wife and child.
We’re also supposed to be shocked that Brady slept with Peyton. Why would be? He’s a scumbag. Who am I supposed to feel badly for? There wasn’t a good guy in the movie. Unless the characters are truly mesmerizing, and their misdeeds are what make the film great, it’s impossible to make a good horror film with all villains. We need to be afraid for someone. I wanted these jerks to get their comeuppance.
My final criticism is at the end the cops come in and arrest Sam thinking he killed everyone. The news scroll says “Teenager “kills” friends in jealous rage.” Why is the word ‘kills’ in quotations? It doesn’t make sense. Who wrote that? Why? I am more curious about that than I am about anything or anyone within the film.
There’s no saving grace in this film. It’s a complete waste of time.
Scared Stiff Rating: 2/10
