By Geno McGahee
I’m a big fan of NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR, a unique horror anthology that took three full length movies and cut them down dramatically to fit into this format. THE NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS (AKA – CATACLYSM), SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF and DEATH WISH CLUB (AKA – GRETTA, AKA – THE DARK SIDE OF LOVE) were the films chosen for this anthology. They also added some 80’s rock band with dance routines in between the tales, making it that much stranger. THE NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS is a great film and when you see the feature, it is difficult to watch the chopped up version in NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR. I have yet to see SCREAM YOUR HEAD OFF, but just had the opportunity to watch DEATH WISH CLUB and it was about as amusing as it gets.
George Youngmeyer (J. Martin Sellers) is a very rich man and he gets whatever he wants, which he states in narration form immediately. He wanted a ballerina figurine and got it. Now, I believe that anyone could afford to buy a ballerina figurine and therefore, he need not brag about it. He did have a nice house though and I was quite impressed with that. Youngmeyer goes to a carnival and sees a girl selling popcorn. He approaches her and starts shoving one hundred dollar bills down her blouse. She smiles and agrees to become his girl. Gretta Connors (Merideth Haze) starts enjoying the better things in life but Youngmeyer has a dark side and she soon finds that out.
Youngmeyer enjoys watching Gretta have sex. He gets her into porno movies and has links to brothel, I think. I think it’s a brothel. They have all kinds of sexual stuff going on and even a midget that runs around naked. If that isn’t a brothel, I don’t know what is.
Glen Marshall (Rick Barnes), a college student that may have stayed back a few years, becomes infatuated with Gretta and seeks her out. He goes to a porn shop where the cashier is dressed in leather bondage gear with dildos on display behind him. Talk about loving your job. He gives Glen some information that leads to the meeting of Glen and Gretta, but it gets weird when George makes it known that he wants to watch them have sex. Glen wants no part of it and I can’t blame him. It’s hard to get your mojo on with some old guy watching on. He storms out, passes by Mary Contrary (Norm Keefer), a flamboyantly gay guy, and goes home but he still has Gretta on his mind. I don’t think Mary Contrary was a very politically correct character, but I don’t care. I found him funny.
The two eventually reunite but Gretta is hard to handle. She is a sex fiend and also has a side of her life that she wants to keep private from Glen. When George shows up to pick her up, Glen has enough and demands to go to this meeting they have. They have a death wish club where they flirt with death and the potential of one of the members being killed is high. Federico (William Charles) is a Russian guy (I think) and he gets serious enjoyment from this experience and usually laughs uncontrollably. It’s very amusing and I have to give props to the director, John Carr. He knew that William Charles was gold and just kept him laughing as loudly and for as long as he could. It was very amusing.
There’s also a guy by the name of Prince Flubutu (Mark E. Ridley) and he dressed and looked like Jimmy Hendrix. The entire group was rather eccentric and the games they played were unique. At one point, they had a venomous bug that can kill with one sting. It went around and climbed on everyone but eventually flew away. They all lived. This scene was changed in NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR. Much like THE NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS, terribly Claymation was added in and we got a huge bug in the horror anthology, but I felt the scene here was far more impactful.
When Glen and Gretta break up, George informs the young man or not so young man that Gretta died. They have a funeral and then we meet Charlie White, which is Gretta in drag. Is it drag if a woman wears men’s clothing? I was never sure about this. I’m assuming it must be, but I might be wrong. Whatever the case, Gretta now believes she is a man and wants no part of Glen and when he makes a move on her, she slugs him and calls him a gay slur. Because he loves her so, he sticks around and tries to get her back to her female form.
The two begin double-dating and that’s when the police get involved. For some reason, one of the detectives begins shouting “whore” a few times at Charlie’s and Glen’s dates. Then we meet Lola the drag queen (David Lee Daniels) and she is not warmly welcomed by George. George just isn’t in the mood for Lola and punches him out. Lola is about as over the top as it gets and I think they knew he was tremendously amusing. They bring him back as the would be wife of Charlie at a wedding that Glen breaks up.
Remarkably, George becomes consumed with jealousy. It is totally out of the blue. One moment, he wants Glen plowing Gretta in front of him and the next moment, he wants them both dead. He kidnaps them both with his goons. The thugs that he sent bring a big net to capture Glen, who apparently knows martial arts or at least pretended he did. It was really funny. Who the fuck brings a big net to a fight? It’s unheard of! Because of the rarity of net violence, Glen was not ready and was nabbed and the duo was brought to another death wish game. They survive it and are allowed to go free by George.
Glen and Gretta enjoy the carnival and George finds a new girl and the movie ends. What a bizarre movie this was, but I found it very enjoyable. At times, you wonder just what this movie is and what it’s about. It’s very scattered and strange, but the performances by some of the actors are just so amazing that you can’t help but to love it. Meredith Haze was very cute and funny in both roles she played and it’s a shame that she never really did anything else. Lola the drag queen and Mary Contrary were great and the mad Russian added a great deal as well. This film isn’t going to change the world, but it’s very amusing. I laughed through the majority of it. I have come up with a list of unique things that make this film special:
– Naked midget at whorehouse.
– Detective screaming “whore” continuously.
– Drag queen knocked out.
– Maniacally laughing Russian.
– Large net used for Glen capture.
– George offered hand job by masseuse.
– Police dragging Gretta away without assessing the scene first.
DEATH WISH CLUB is a fun watch and if you’re a fan of NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR, then you need to see this feature film. It’s so absurd and over the top that you can’t help but to love it.
Rating: 7/10
