By Geno McGahee
I don’t eat cereal very often. If I have a bowl a month, that’s a lot for me. Sometimes, I’ll buy a box of Wheaties because everyone in my house hates them and only I love them and therefore, I can eat them at my leisure without concern of finding an empty box. So, after a very light dinner, I began to crave something to eat. So, I elected to try some cereal and, after 25 years or so, had a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles.
When I was a kid, I loved Cocoa and Fruity Pebbles, but, then again, I liked all sorts of cereals as long as they had cartoon characters and plenty of sugar. I still liked looking at the Flintstones and thinking back to a day when I could just eat cereal, watch TV, and not worry about working all the time.
I opened the bag and smelled the cereal and it smelled sort of weird. There was a chocolate smell, but there was something else. Did those pricks at Post try to make this cereal healthy after all these years? Did Fred Flintstone do me dry here? Well, maybe my memory just isn’t good when it comes to smells. So I proceeded to pour it into a bowl and give it a go.
For those interested, I used 1% milk in this. It’s what we got. I know some people use 2% or whole or even skim, but when it comes to cow tits, I’m not fussy. Milk doesn’t matter in cereal, in my opinion.
I ate the entire bowl of cereal and was not happy with Fred and Barney, those two fat pricks. Cocoa Pebbles isn’t what it once was. First, the cereal got soggy quick. So I had to eat that shit quick. The taste was just weird, like there was too much iron in it. I don’t want iron. I want chocolate. What the fuck? I’m drinking 1% milk. Isn’t that healthy enough Post? Why did you ruin this cereal?
Cocoa Pebbles was very disappointing. It’s edible if you eat it quick before it becomes soggy and limp like your grandfather in a bathtub. Overall, this cereal sucks. I would not eat it again unless there was nothing else or if Post brought the recipe back to what it was when I was a kid.
