Reviewed by Geno McGahee
“You’re evil!” – Anya (Anya Ormsby)
I am not a huge fan of zombie movies, but I am a fan of the strange and in 1972, a film by the name of “CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS” was released and it is more than odd. The 1970s had its fair share of strange movies, but you find most of the classics came from that time. It was as if they filmed without restriction and without so many hands in it. I consider it the best time for film.
We begin with a group of hopeful actors, led by Alan (Alan Ormsby), a guy that sort of looks like, except thinner and with less fashion sense. He is rude and very bossy and pushes around the cast, threatening them with career ruin should they not do what he says. He brings them to a remote island for a Satanic ritual to raise the dead. They have an old book and they have a cabin and they raise the dead. Does this plot sound familiar? If you said EVIL DEAD, you are correct. It is very obvious that there is definite influence in the EVIL DEAD of this movie.
Alan seems to really want to raise the dead and even goes as far as to call out Satan, calling him a fraud and stating that he paid his money and he wants what he paid for. One of the actresses elects to give it a go, mocking Alan along the way, but she achieves what the group thought to be impossible. The gravestones shake and fall and the island is now crawling with zombies.
Not knowing that it is zombie city out there, Alan brings a corpse back to the cabin and marries it in a mock ceremony. Orville is now his husband and there is even some implied necrophilia going on when Alan lies next to the corpse and claims that they are even going to get closer. The group is rather jovial considering that they have a rotting dead body on the sofa…well, all except Anya (Anya Ormsby).
Anya initially thinks it’s a good idea to bring the corpse back to the cabin and believes that she has some psychic connection to the corpse. When it becomes obvious that Alan is not treating his new husband right, she goes bonkers, knowing that they are all doomed. One of the most amusing moments is when Alan states that he will do what he pleases with Orville and sings “Deck the Halls” with grim variations, culminating with a slap across the face of Anya. What a dick!
When the zombies finally attack, it’s obvious that the group is doomed, and Alan now sees the error in his ways. When he retreats to his bedroom as the zombies attack, he runs into a big surprise, leading to a great ending.
CHILDREN SHOULDN’T PLAY WITH DEAD THINGS is one of my favorite horror movies, featuring great characters and shot very well, setting a creepy atmosphere. Some of the dialogue has been cut down, but I really enjoyed Alan’s rants, and this movie just really never gets old. I highly recommend it.
Scared Stiff Rating: 10/10. One of the best and most interesting zombie movies every filmed.
