By Geno McGahee
Tom Arnold can be really funny as he was in TRUE LIES and I can see why producers would want to invest in him and place him as the lead in a straight to video comedy, which is what they did with the 1996 film “CARPOOL.” He also did other films around this time like THE STUPIDS and BIG BULLY, but none of them really impressed and his run as a solo comedic force was over before it began.
Franklin (Arnold) runs a carnival and it’s having a hard time. The checks he wrote to the carnies bounced and he is determined to pay for it and comes up with a plan to rob a bank. Immediately, the humor in this film does not work. I think they were trying to be funny when they brought in the bearded lady and dog boy and focused pretty heavily on them. It was painful from jump, but, thankfully the scene didn’t last that long.
Daniel Miller (David Paymer) is an uptight businessman that has a major presentation to give, but when his wife gets sick, he is forced to drive the carpool and bring the kids to school. His young son, Andrew (Mikey Kovar), older son, Bucky (Micah Gardener), strange kid Travis (Jordan Workal), spoiled brat Chelsea (Colleen Rennison), and her older sister, Kayla (Rachael Leigh Cook), make up the kids in the van and Daniel is immediately annoyed by the crowd.
The kids blast music and sing along as Daniel is desperately trying to get to his meeting. On the way there, the kids insist on eating, so Daniel pulls into an upscale bakery to pick up some food. Franklin ends up there as well because the bank wasn’t open yet. We also have two robbers showing up that plan to take all the cash there. When the dust settles, Franklin stops the robbers, but gets mistaken for a robber and takes Daniel and the group hostage to escape from Detective Erdman’s (Kim Coates).
Franklin continues driving and they end up at a hair dresser because Andrew has to use their bathroom. Franklin has to go as well so he takes Daniel in the bathroom with him and forces him to hold his shoulder while his pisses. I got my first chuckle here when a guy walked in and looked them up and down and noted the “conga line” and asked to join. It was a chuckle…not a laugh, but I’ll take it. The group exits and they encounter a meter maid, Martha (Rhea Perlman). She is very dedicated to the job and when she finds out that Franklin is the wanted kidnapper, she chases them down with her meter maid vehicle. Perlman has never been funny. I know a lot of people loved her on CHEERS, but I never found her funny. She is painfully unfunny here, but it’s not all her fault. The writing is total shit.
The chase continues and the same painful unfunny terribly movie continues. Tom Arnold tries very well to make this work and he has great comedic timing and delivery, but he could not save this. Overall, the cast was quite good and they did their best, but this is just not good. CARPOOL had its funny moments, but they were few and far between. I give great credit to the cast, but there just wasn’t much to work with here.
CARPOOL is terrible shit. It’s repetitious and unfunny. I chuckled three times but cringed most of the time. I felt bad for the cast for being a part of this. It had all the elements to be a good film but the writing was not there and when you build a film on a screenplay like this one, the cast, no matter how good, cannot make it work. Avoid this one people.
