By Polly “Avalanche” Hughes
Let me tell you something brother. Are you ready for an avalanche? My brother-in-law, best known as “Uncle Dick” with his “Dick driver” is ready for a comeback. I don’t think you will be seeing him in TNA though. He’s 86 years young. You will be seeing some interesting things in the weeks to come as TNA builds up to BOUND FOR GLORY, and they have been enjoying some momentum thanks in large part to the creativity of Broken Matt Hardy and the group of talent that they have currently brother.
Bobby Lashley came out on Impact last week, talking about how he ended EC3, and was looking for a new challenger and out came Moose. Moose is a big strong dude, brother, but he is ready to face the Miracle Mike Bennett at BOUND FOR GLORY. Lashley offered him the fight at that PPV since EC3 was shelved but he demanded the fight right then. Unfortunately for Lashley, EC3 made it to the arena and raised some hell, attacking Lashley during an encounter with Moose. I sort of liked how Bennett and Lashley teamed up. Lashley, such a loner, needs some back up and now has this mischievous sidekick to assist. It may come into play at BOUND FOR GLORY. If EC3 is winning, perhaps Bennett will show his face and interfere.
Deletion vs. Decay is coming to a head man. The two teams are facing off with the tag team gold on the line. Broken Matt Hardy has saved his groundskeeper and has recovered vanguard one and has even healed Brother Nero after his near fatal encounter with Decay. This tag team title match should be a barn-burner, much like my one match with the WWF (WWE) when I took on SD Jones. I am one of the few wrestlers to lose to SD Jones. He hit me with that flying ass thing and it was over. The one fucking move he has he hits me with. Giant ass in my face…how embarrassing brother.
Saw Aaron Rex in action on Impact in his first match and, I’m sorry, but this guy sucks brother. He is boring, can’t cut a promo, and his wrestling match was a dud. His finishing Texas tornado punch thing was decent, but other than that, this guy needs direction. TNA should turn this guy heel and get him a manager. He won his match in the Grand Champion tournament and they are pointing at him as the potential winner, but the guy is just wretched. He is the new Salvatore Sincere. Remember that cat, brother?
Poor Rockstar Spud didn’t do too well in his no rules, no turnbuckles match against rival, Braxton Sutter. I like Rockstar Spud and I was rooting for him to win, but size mattered here brother. It was like when my man, King Kong Bundy, squashed that annoying midget at WRESTLEMANIA III. I don’t know why the Hulkster faced off against Andre the Giant so much man. Every time that they faced off, Hogan would go to the top rope, and Andre, as slow as he is, would slam him to the mat, grabbing a full handful of his junk. That had to feel terrible or terribly good, I guess. Andre had a history of doing strange things to men inside the ring. Ask Tony Atlas what Andre did with his thumb to some guys. Damn that giant brother.
Maria discovered that she would face Gail Kim at BOUND FOR GLORY and she was in her cartoony glory on IMPACT brother. She treated her assistant, Allie, like complete shit man and then went on to scream throughout the show, before Dixie Carter came down and shut her up with the upcoming showdown. Kim would win a gauntlet match and has now earned the right to take on Maria for knockout gold.
POLLY’S IMPACT
Bobby Lashley/Moose/EC3/Bennett altercations – 5/5 – Exciting and interesting. These guys bring it.
Delete/Decay feud – 5/5 – Once again, the amusement factor is through the roof. Good work boys and girls.
Maria/Allie/Gail Kim/Knockout Gauntlet match – 4/5 – The gauntlet match was great but had some missed spots and a couple lulls. Maria, Allie and Kim were great in their segments however.
Aaron Rex Debut – 1/5 – Not worth the wait. This guy sucks.
Shera/Eddie Edwards grand champion match – 2.5/5 – Not bad. Not a huge fan of the grand champion format, but these guys did decent in their scrap.
Overall POLLY IMPACT rating – 3.5/5 – The filler needed some help, but overall, the show was good brother.