By James
I’m a family man and I love thanksgiving and I’m thankful for the time I can sit at home and eat that smoking hot turkey and delicious apple pie, but then I have this one fat ass relative that immediately brought up the Black Friday deals that start at 5 PM on Thanksgiving itself. What’s he going to buy shit with, his EBT card? He’s that one relative that sits at the table and needs to talk about how Trump ruined his life. Why don’t you get off your fat ass Charles and get out of your mom’s basement you soy boy! I wish I wasn’t related to him.
Now, all these stores talk about some TV that is 80% off but they only stock one or two of them and the rest of the five million people that show up for them get fucked in the ass when they get there and if you get the TV, good luck making it to your car. I’ve seen these horse’s ass butt plugs fist fight over a DVD player.
Now, y’all need to avoid shopping on this zombie day that is known as Black Friday. Stay home and shop online. I go to that Amazon site and I buy my grandchildren toys and buy my lady friend perfume and I can do it from my leather recliner. I don’t do that fake leather that I see so many idiots do. I go real leather. My slippers are real leather too.
So happy Thanksgiving. If you go out on Black Friday, watch out for the zombies that are going to trample you to death.
